I MUST BE SLIPPING

2011-02-12T23:29:00.002-05:00

I guess i could do a new post on why I have been absent for a year. Well I will tell you. I am one lazy fucking bitch. end of story. Facebook, Twitter have kept me busy. I neglect my first source of expression. I know, I know i am a Cunt.

I will now post on a song from my early 20's. OK OK mid 20's. The Flys Got you where I wany you.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM_OWaItNJM

I saw this band and they were OK. but back in like 98 i thought these dudes were so fucking hot.

2011-02-12T23:19:00.002-05:00

I do remember when I posted all the time. I liked a blog by a young guy named Bil. I believe it was called The Tife and Limes of Bil. But now I see it is blocked. but I did love the way he wrote. I also know prior to me getting blocked he was going in to the Marines. I hope he did OK.

2011-02-12T23:15:00.001-05:00

Well what can I say. I have been way fucking absent. So much has changed. I don't know where to begin.

Why even start this blog is toast.

peace

2009-12-12T03:39:00.003-05:00

I know i have been absent for a while now and that is for mant reasons which I can not get into now. Any way.....

Fuck all the assholes that dont have a clue.

Tiger Woods
a Kardashian
any fool in Jersey Shore
and last but not least fuck Obamas Health care Plan

I have insurance I do not want to have to float fools who don't.

2009-12-12T02:46:00.003-05:00

i like to think about silly stuff. shit even insane stuff. tell me how the hell is Sarah Palin popular. not that i 18% disagree with her but hse is just silly just like you are bffs with a special needs kid until you get to high school.

sad part is we always diss the special needs kid

2009-12-12T02:33:00.001-05:00

LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL DISORDER

2009-12-12T02:21:00.001-05:00

wanna know what i think about shit
TRY me mother fuckers

I am all psyched to get back into this

2009-12-12T02:19:00.001-05:00

I had a real shitty 2009. my fater died my aunt died jesuse my fucking cat died. fuck it assholes i am back
try me

2009-12-12T02:16:00.001-05:00

sorry to say but Elin Woods is one tough bitch

FUCK YOU LIST FOR THE BEGINNING OF 2008

2008-05-02T23:44:00.003-04:00

Here is my fuck you list for the first 5 months of 2008

1.. Elliot Spitzer. you made NY look like shit
2.. The parking enforcement in my neighborhood....2 tickets in 2 Weeks fuck you
3.. The cult in Texas....why
4.. That dude in Austria that had is daughter in the basement for like 20 some odd years. Why did he wife allow that shit.
5.. Paris Hilton.. cause since she went to jail and got out she has not been doing dumb shit so now what do i do.
6.. Gas prices..........man that is a whole new post
7.. Any one running for president
8.. the fact getting a passport in the US is way hard

so fuck all of that

late gators i know not my best work but i have been busy working so hard so i can take half my fucking paycheck and put it in my 04 Camry

THANKS AMERICA THANKS

NOT TO GET POLITICAL

2008-05-02T23:28:00.004-04:00

I have been following the election process in the US and it is almost sickening

I am a republican hate me if you will but i am not voting for any Democrat that is thrust in my lap at this point.

LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL DISORDER

that statement is true.. Thanks Micheal Savage.

So good luck to all that is voting cause that shit is a tough choice.

Obama is Al Quida and Hillary is an anrgy lesbian, not that there is shit wrong with lesbos but i will say that most are not that angry.

I am throwing my towel in i cant take this shit anymore.

I need a country to move to so i ask all readers even though i have not been posting cause i am way busy, i need a new country to live in cause id obama or clinton is my president i need to go

any suggestion would be fine

sorry it has been so long but man i do have a fcuking busy life
so i will be back soon.

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD YOU

2007-09-18T01:04:00.000-04:00

I know, I know. I have not been posting like all fucking summer. Well the reason for that, there really is no reason for that. I have been really fucking lazy and truly uninspired.

I always hate to disappoint my readers. They love to come here and see me have diarrhea of the mouth and spout off on just about anything.

I will say this Paris Hilton finding god after jail, has really left my rantings at a minimal. Britney does not even get me angry she is too white trash anyway.

I apologize greatly for not being here.

So here is a quick list of my Summer:

1. Drank a lot
2. Slept a lot (due to the drinking)
3. Traveled a little
4. Gambled a little.
5. Lost money due to gambling which caused the drinking
6. Had a little fling
7. Lost that little fling
8. Back to work with no more vacation for 6 months
9. Sad face

so there it is in a nutshell. If you would like me to elaborate on any of the top Nine Items leave a comment.

If you want me to spout off about anything or anyone leave it in a comment. As I said since Paris found god, I got nothing.

I will give you the Fuck you list for this week though:

1. People who use the term "Uber" I really fucking hate that
2. My boss
3. Road construction that broke my muffler
4. Men that DON'T call when they say they are
5. Men that you DON'T want to call that call all the time
6. Emo's (just learned that word and I do not think I like these people)
7. Me for not posting
8. Cellphone contracts

So until next time (which could be months)

later

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?

2007-06-28T04:47:00.000-04:00

Where the fuck have I been you ask. Well I just finished a stint in the county jail for DUI. I figured that it was the cool thing to do.

No Really I have been on vacation. Living it up in NYC, and Atlantic City.

So Dyck here it is I updated my fucking blog.

The Fuck you list for this week is:

1. Paris(always on the list and I saw your cunt ass on Larry King)
2. Honda dealership (love the car hate your service)
3. Waste management for picking up garbage twice this week (WHY?)
4. Construction at local grocery store (can't find a damn thing)
5. My boss

I will add 1 thank you this week:

1. Thanks to that nice man, to remain nameless, at Atlantic City for making me have an awesome night! I owe you.

Later

JUST LIKE HITTING THE LOTTERY FOR ME BUT ONLY BETTER

2007-06-08T19:21:00.001-04:00

HHHAAAAA
HHHAAAAA

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Fuck you you crying bitch. You did the crime now do the fucking time.

Weren't crying when you were driving drunk. Not crying while you were driving drunk in you 100,000 dollar Bentley.

So listen here little girl suck it up and deal with what you have to deal with.

I really have nothing more to say than look at the picture

TELL ME WHY

2007-06-01T05:44:00.000-04:00

I have a burning question? I has been on my mind for about a week now. I need someone to explain to me why.

OK here goes. Why? When I hit the snooze button on my alarm it is only for 9 minutes?

I believe a good "snooze" takes longer than 9 minutes.

In America when we have millions of choices on million of things. We only get 1 choice on how long the snooze goes for.

I believe that when I go to buy an alarm clock I should get the choice between 9 minutes up to a 1 hour snooze.

When I go buy booze there are a billion bottles to choose from at the liquor store. Why not when buying an alarm

I thought this was America.

OK now if anyone out there has an alarm clock with a snooze longer than 9 minutes, maybe we could work out a trade.

List of things that bugged me today:

1. the snooze alarm
2. humidity
3. gas prices only went down 1 cent (fuck you 1 cent what am I going to do with a penny)
4. work
5. the fact that beer prices went up due to gas prices (do the trucks run on Budweiser)
6. tuberculosis

Have a good weekend !!!!

THANKS FOR THE TAG

2007-05-20T01:56:00.000-04:00

I have had this blog for over a year and have never been "tagged"

Thanks AZA for fucking that up. I do not hate you or anything but I feel I am responsible to reply. Again I thank AZA.

7 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME
Disclamier....there are a 100 weird things about me to narrow it down is a chore.

1. I have never eaten broccli (like eating a tree)
2. I do not like to "swallow "(i have done it but I fucking hate it)
3. I hate liberals (and their liberal children)
4. I only love Paris Hilton when she is giving that Downs Syndrome baby face (to me that is funny)
5. I like beer (that is not so weird but I had to put it out there)
6. I secretely want to be Drew Barrymore (that bitch is cool as shit)
7. I have seen ALL of the "Bring It On's" ( I know you saw them too) Fuck You

Any way for my first tag tis went quite well

AZA do it again we might have to fight.

Any ways peace all ...................later

THE NEWS HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

2007-05-07T19:58:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton is doing 45 days in jail for being stupid. If that really was the case she should be doing life.

Driving drunk, suspended licence, and being dumb.

Haaaaaaaaaa

First thing I want to say is any other woman in that facility that is doing time in the same cell block. I will load up your commissary with $1,000, just if you rough her up everyday.

Good luck Paris. And remember anal rape primarily only happens in mens correctional facilities. But I am sure that is something you could handle anyways.

THE "HOFF" IS A BOOZER

2007-05-04T07:38:00.000-04:00

I always knew something was up with David Hasselhoff. Now come to find out he is a drunk. And not just any other drunk.

He is a drunk that drove a talking car and solved crimes and shit. Hope he did not drink and drive. Well who cares the fucking car drove itself.

He as a drunk ass Lifeguard. Did he have to be drunk to look at Pam Anderson's titties. Maybe he is a little gay as well.

He also Brought down the Berlin Wall, or so they say. I hear that the booze was cheaper on the other side of the wall. Sort of selfish of the Hoff but hey the wall came down so kill 2 birds with one stone.

He also was a drunk musician. I have only seen 1 video of his and that was enough. Some shit about jump in my car because I am way too fucked up to drive.

Well if you watch CNN and shit like that you will see the video that his daughter taped I guess as some sort of "intervention"

Where was the intervention on his career. Little to late little Hasselhoff.

Any way good luck on the "wagon" Mr. Hasselhoff.

Hey does the "Wagon" for the Hoff drive itself and you can talk to it through a wristwatch. I wonder.

MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!!!!!

2007-04-26T05:39:00.000-04:00

Haaaa. Yes Rosie will soon have her fat face off of my TV.

She claims that it is because she did not want to sign a 3 year contract. I believe because she a loud mouth liberal traitor.

Either reason I believe that she needed to go or else Barbara Walters was going to stroke out. Maybe Barbara has how can anyone tell.

All that would make me anymore happy would be that I either hit the Lotto, or Paris Hilton gets traded into white slavery sex trade in Thailand.

I would be happy with wither decision really.

So thank you Rosie for receiving all that hate mail and actually hearing it.

I hate that liberal lard ass.......Now she will be silent and I think that I can't ask for more.

Sweet!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A HEAD SCRATCHER?

2007-04-19T01:19:00.000-04:00

This article that I found really makes me think. I am having a little trouble wrapping
my head around this.

I mean anytime that marijuana gets a thumbs up it makes me happy. But this article makes me think that this is somewhat self defeating.

Smoke pot....put foreign substances into lungs. Get lung cancer. Smoke pot shrinks tumors in the lung.

I think that researchers and the person that even wrote this article are both high.

******************
On a different note I am back to work and this is all that I have done is look up weird articles on the Internet.

I love my job but I hate working

Wednesdays fuck you list....

Random drug testing
Work
New York State Lottery
Michael Eisner
The fucking bitch that took my stapler

PS. I found out yesterday that a guy I used to date, and who dumped me for some dumb skanky bitch, He has HERPES.

That is fucking awesome, Kama's is a bitch KEVIN daaaaaaaaaaaaaa

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE!!!

2007-04-11T01:40:00.000-04:00

One thing that made my wonderful day today. Well I got my old job back. I am not loving it but it was not a bad job and the money was great.

Another thing that made me happy was that they finally found the father to Baby Danny Lynn.

Fucking finally, I was so fucking sick of hearing about it. Why did they need the fucking DNA test. I could of told you in like 2 seconds who the father was. You ask how would I know for sure. I will tell you, 2 things, I am a Maury Povich avid Dna test results watcher so there is my training. And JUST LOOK AT THE BABY. She looks absolutely nothing like Howard K. Stern. She looked just like Larry Berkhart.

Now if we could just bury James Brown. I would be creaming my pants.

Oh yeah another thing, I really do not see what Imus said was so wrong. He talks shit all the time. They will probably never fire him. Sorry Rutgers woman's basketball team. Comb your hair and move on with your life I really do not care to hear how you feelings were hurt.

Fuckin' Ho's

Wednesdays Fuck you list:

Al Sharpton
Rutgers Woman's Basketball
Imus
Howard K. Stern
Time Warner Cable
Matt Lauer
Crocks
Under wire in my bra

EASTER SCHMEESTER!!!!

2007-04-08T12:07:00.000-04:00

I wonder why when I went to the store yesterday there was not one parking space. Not one grocery cart, not even a little red basket. So as I wander around with my hands full trying to find a check out that does NOT have 40 people in it.

It dawned on me. Oh my god Sunday is Easter! How the fuck do I forget that. So I wondered to myself. What am I going to do for Easter????

Did not make arrangements to go home. No one called me to inquire if I was going home. Does none of my family love me anymore.

Then It dawned on me. I do not have to do anything. I will order some Chinese watch some shitty TV. Just like any other Sunday.

Well I did decide to make my mother happy and I went to church this morning.

All I have to say about that is WOW. I went to the Catholic church in my town no parking. Not even a seat to be found. Where do all these people come from. I go to church sporadically and they are NEVER there on Sunday. All dressed up with there Cadburry egg sugar induced children.

So like an angry woman I left. Thinking I will make the next service at the next church in the next town.

Same fucking story. All I wanted to do is go to church, why was god making it so hard, on, of all days Easter.

So as I drive home a little annoyed I see a sign for Easter Services. So I said why not it is a church.

Well I ended up at the Zion First Baptist Church or some crazy shit like that. There was parking, there was seats. There even was a band.

I have never been to a Baptist church but what could be the difference they all believe in the same thing. Only difference I could see was that I was the only white girl there. But they did not seem to care.

I will say this though ........They know how to ROCK.

It was the most entertaining Easter at church in my life. I was almost moved.

The differences in a Catholic church and a baptist church is not much but the music and the people.

So at least I went to church........

Happy Easter

peace

CHECK LIST FOR TODAY OF WHAT NOT TO DO

2007-03-30T03:51:00.000-04:00

18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL (Liberal: A modern day misnomer. Actually, yesterday's liberals are today's centrists, while today's liberals are yesterday's leftists.)

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support partial birth abortion.
2. You have to believe that business creates oppression and government creates prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of terrorists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected bynature's cyclical changes, and more by soccer moms, driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but homosexuality is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spre ad by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that a college educated and certified 4th grade teacher knows less about running her class than a strung-out, dropout mother.
9. You have to believe that the life of a monkey in medical research is more important than the life of a child in intensive care.
10. You have to believe that government-bestowed privileges are more important than sweating to earn them.
11. You have to believe that Christianity is a right-wing crutch, but Islam is simply misunderstood.
12. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Malcom-X and Jane Fonda are moreimportant to American history than George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
15. You have to believ e that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't workedanywhere it has been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades are constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas are illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.GOD BLESS AMERICA! (Oops, can't do that either.)

FUCK ROSIE O'DONNELL YOU LOUD MOUTH BITCH

HOW I GOT OFFENDED TODAY!

2007-03-21T21:44:00.000-04:00

Unemployment is grand, at least for now. You sleep and do shit on your won time.....FUCK yeah.

So at about 6am this morning I went to the local 24 hour grocery store. Gotta love something that is 24 hours....Right.

So any way I walk in grab my little red basket, and stat wandering around when I realized that, damn I am the only customer in the store. I felt that I should of deserved some special treatment. Did I get that special treatment......

Of course not!

Instead I got offended. If you ever go into a store in the early morning hours you know right away how quiet it is. So you hear every thing.

So as I walked around with my empty basket. I hear over the loud speaker "SECURITY TO ISLE 4, SECURITY TO ISLE 4"

I really did not even think about it until I looked to see what isle I was in.

You got it isle #4

Did they think because I was the only one in there at that time in the morning that I was stealing something or some shit like that.

So I wait to see if anyone comes down the isle. Not even 3 minutes later a store employee is hovering around the end of the isle looking like they were fixing something. But I knew.

Fuck that store, fuck them and fuck security. I should of stole something. I have the time now I can go to court and do a few days in jail for stealing tampons.

I was offended because I don't steal and I don't think I look like someone who steals. And I am not that fucking dumb where I would go to a store with NO ONE in it except employees and expect to get away with something.

If I had a job this probably would never happen. So this unemployment shit seems just to get better and better.

2007-03-18T00:02:00.000-04:00

Just to let you all out there know. I have not been here all that much. There is one reason for that. That new fucking job I took. It sucks.

So last week I was at this fucking new job and I had a realization. I wanted to go to Vegas with some friends. Well my new fucking boss was a prick and wanted me to work on Saturday.

So being the way I am I said sure I will work.

That was until I sat for a moment and said fuck this shit.

So I left work on a Thursday and never came back. So let me hear a "fuck yeah" to unemployment.

So most people that quit jobs go out and look for another. Well not me I went to Vegas and spent more money than I should of.

FUCK IT! Only live once right!!!

So from this point on I am unemployed. I could go back to my old job, which I probably will, but I am taking this new found freedom and going to do what I can with it.

Most would be like"what are you going to do for money" Answer "I do not fucking know"

So to all out there that hate there fucking 9-5 cubicle jobs. I hear ya. I quit my job for all of you.
So you better fucking appreciate it.

Later all I have to go and.....oh yeah do nothing. HEHEHEHEHE

MARCH MADNESS!!!!!

2007-03-15T19:21:00.000-04:00

This is the time of year if you are a basketball fan. Me I like baseball a bit more but that will be soon enough.

I never really watch the NCAA tournament. But I have been or at least I will be. Due to the fact that my Alma matter University of Albany is in the tournament.

See I spent the better part of my drinking years at this school. I have even forgotten that they had a basketball team. No I am just kidding with that one.

Any way I hope to see my Alma matter get as far if not win the whole thing. UA-UA-UA-UAUAUAUA(i was singing as i typed that.)

**************************************
On a different note I just got back from 5 days in Vegas and man is my credit card beat.

I lost a few *cough* hundred. Ate some decent food. Drank a lot of booze. I also got hit on by a very, very good looking man. Now most of the time I would of been right there.

Because what ever happens in Vegas well you know. But also in Vegas sometimes these people cost money. I had already lost 200 dollars on Black Jack so sorry charlie. Not this time.

Well whatever I had a blast. All fun in Vegas. Plus how can anyone not enjoy a prime rib dinner for 5.99.

SPRING IS IN THE AIR.....AAAHHH

2007-02-28T05:36:00.000-05:00

Today being the last day of February, makes me think that soon it will be spring.

Soon flowers will be growing, grass will be green and trees will again have leaves.

A wonderful time of the year spring is. Makes the winter not seem so bad when you have something to look forward to.

I am looking forward to bar-b-ques, cold beer on a hot day, flip flops, and vacation!

I am not looking forward to sweating, sunburns, warm beer on a hot day.

If you are wondering how I have become so reflective on such a day it is simple.

Spring brings out the love in all of us. We all like the mating ritual, I personally love it. Not like National Geographic but you get my drift.

Well living in the eves of my house is a squirrel family. Well, from the sound I heard this morning at 5:30, it should be a larger squirrel family in however long it takes to have squirrel babies.

Yes that is right. I was awoken at 5:30am by 2 squirrels "doing it"

I love spring

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!

2007-02-24T08:08:00.000-05:00

Recently it has been brought to my attention that people are fucking idiots. Now the reasons that they are idiots varies, due to the situation.

One thing that has been driving me crazy, is the fact that when we die, people refused to bury us.

James Brown took like 3 months to put him in the ground. And now with Anna Nicole.

Fuck It! That is some crazy shit. Who cares where they want to be buried. Just put them in the ground. Have a little respect for the dead.

So in conclusion, I realized that if some thing happened and they would fight where to put my dead ass. I need to make some plans here.

So to all the readers here it goes:

When I die just put my ass in a plane drop me in the middle of the Atlantic ocean and let me become fish food.
The food chain will become full circle.

I would have done my part.

WHY GOD OH WHY!!!!!!

2007-02-20T04:35:00.000-05:00

I used to have such hatred towards Paris Hilton. It was justified. I swear.

But now in recent light there is someone that I completely can't stand even a little.

Fuck!!! You!!! Britney!!! Fuck you!!!!

I do not give a shit that you shaved your head. I could care less if you shaved your eyebrows, upper lip, pubic area or what.

Why does your hair removal have to be on the front of major newspapers and on CNN all day.

No one cared a few years back when I fell asleep with gum in my mouth and I had to cut my hair real short.

Never even made the church bulletin.

I forgot that we cured world hunger, got out of war in Iraq and Afghanistan, stopped murders and rapes. That the news is that slow that this is what is on the front page.

So please people stop letting the media feed you this shit. Don't watch CNN, don't buy the paper.

I right here and now to say that If I was rich. I would beat up the following, (no specific order)

1. Paris Hilton
2. Lindsay Lohan
3. Britney Spears
4. Nicholas Cage
5. Hillary Clinton
6. Any of the Carter Family
7. Any one on Surreal life
8. Harry Potter
9. Naomi Campbell (just for the challenge that bitch is tough)
10. Any on in the cast of Titanic

I am stopping there this could go on all day!

peace

I PICKED THE WRONG CAREER PATH

2007-02-08T05:48:00.000-05:00

When most children were young they had big aspirations to be something huge. Actress, Musician, Doctor, Lawyer, Professional sports, Astronaut or whatever.

Well now that I see that you can be an astronaut and be a psycho that has intention of killing someone. Might of made me want to be a astronaut.

Or a super model.

Tough choice.

PS. sorry about lack of hilarous posts. Will be back on track real soon. Hey I have no time and have been a bit uninspired.

STRANGE BUT TRUE

2007-01-31T04:13:00.001-05:00

I was reading this article earlier today and I thought that this deserved a blog.

I read this story and wonder a few things.

1. how much of assholes is his parents.
2. How either disfigured or socially inept is he.
3. What woman would do this for only $130.

10 days with some dude who cant get a girlfriend and all I get is asshole parents and probably groped.

Maybe for $1000. But hey I have standards.

I mean what kind of parent pressures their child so bad that he has to resort to renting a woman for 10 days. His excuse to why he does not have a girl is he is studying to hard.

So his parents would rather he not study so he can be fucking around with woman and waste their money while at college.

See when I was in college I was pressured by my parents to study harder and put the beer, bong and cock down.

So you see maybe I should of been raised in China and he should of been raised by my parents in NY.

peace

BITCH SANDWICH

2007-01-27T08:40:00.001-05:00

Quick post because this is on the down low. I am working today and it is sucky.

Why?

Well there is a bitch sitting infront of me and a bitch sitting behind me. I am in a bitch sandwich. If you saw these ladies you would feel my pain.

8 hours is going to be long.

Help me!

Woo Hoo!

2007-01-22T16:51:00.000-05:00

I like many watched the football yesterday. Well I read the paper this morning. Fuck it whatever.

Well I read that the Bears beat New Orleans. Good for the Bears Bad for New Orleans.

I also that New England lost to Indianapolis.

Good if you have a team that is not represented by a state. Then get out of the NFL. First New England Patriots next Mid Western Red Necks.

What also kills me is who are the Patriots that they get like half of the east coast. Bull shit.

Well this is something that has always bothered me I have no clue why but fuck it does.

Also Go Bears and please, please, please.......

BRING BACK THE SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE!

I need to be entertained like that again. I have not shuffled since the Super Bowl Shuffle.

I want to shuffle again.

WO SAID LIFE AFTER 30 IS FUN!

2007-01-22T00:15:00.000-05:00

Just to let you know this is a graphic post so there you have been warned.

I was sitting on my couch the other night when all of a sudden I got this pain. Was not a pain that woul make me cry but a pain that I could not figure out why it was happening.

I was sitting there a pain came to me via the side of my right foot.

It fucking hurt.

So I figured ok maybe some shoes I wore.

Well I let it go. I went to my mothers today and asked her. "Do you ever get a pain in the side of your foot?"

She said yes where she has a bunion.

So when I went home I googled Bunion!

Yadda yadda yadda.....

I think I have a "bunionette"

That is a bunion that is not near the big toe but near the little toe.

Fuck this!

I want to be 21 again no worries no bunions.

I have a bunion at 31 at 61 I am doomed.

The main cause of bunions is improper foot wear> What woman has ever wore proper foot wear.

doomed I am doomed

I ONLY WANT ICE IN MY VODKA

2007-01-16T00:06:00.000-05:00

As many of you in this country are aware it is winter. Well for some of us here in Upstate New York we hate it a lot today. Why you ask? Well I will tell you.

There is a 3 inch coating of ice over everything. I mean everything. Trees are all folded over from the weight of the ice. That means trees are breaking off and falling in the road or knocking down power lines.

So I was rudely woken today by a neighbor to tell me that the power was off. Well I was sleeping do you think I really care if there is no power. Well when I woke up later in the day it was fucking freezing in my house.

So I try to find somewhere to go to get warm. When I get to PM's house he had power and so I take a shower and hop on the computer to see when power might come back on.

Well considering that I live in a county in New York that was hit the "hardest" my power will not be back on until 1/18/07 at around 9pm.

What the fuck is that shit.

Power goes off Monday and they can't get it back on until Thursday night. That fucking sucks.

See with no power means no heat. No heat means that I will freeze to death.

I can stay at PM's house but I am not sure I want to. Maybe I will rent a room at a shitty motel.

I know one thing that having no power for almost 4 days is bullshit. Don't they know that it is January. That means it is fucking cold out. Come on National Grid get those trucks out there.

I was driving around trying to find a place that had power so I could gas up my car. I did not see 1 National Grid truck anywhere.

What kind of shit is that!

The cable company was out in full force fixing their lines. Thanks Time Warner but with out fucking power I will not be able to watch TV.

So I want to say to National Grid.....don't you know that American Idol starts Tuesday night. I mean come on. Get that shit working!!

ENOUGHT ALREADY!!! WHAT THE FUCK?

2007-01-12T01:31:00.000-05:00

I do not know about anyone else but I am real fucking sick of all this shit that is going on between Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell/Barbara Walters.

Shut the hell up already!

If you have been hiding under a rock for the last 3 weeks good for you. But to bring you up to speed Rosie ran her mouth about Trump. Trump ran his mouth about Rosie. It was, now this is sad, National news. Then some how Barbara Walters got involved somehow. Still have no idea how the fuck that happened.

The last straw with me was that I saw a political cartoon about it in today's New York Post.

A FUCKING POLITICAL CARTOON. How is stupid Rosie O'Donnell political fuel for a cartoon. I mean come on. There is much more "political" shit going on in this country.

I have come to a conclusion that the media is primarily to blame for this shit getting way out of hand. If they, by they I mean every talk show in history....except Oprah, did not talk about it and make it in to such a big thing. Maybe it would have just gone away. But no those fuck tards at EXTRA EXTRA had to run the story continuously for 2 weeks.

I make a promise the next time I am watching CNN or whatever and that shit is on instead of the fair discussion of how 20,000 EXTRA EXTRA men and women are getting deployed to the Middle East. I swear I will smash my TV screen with a hammer. Then with a shard of that glass from the broken screen I will get in the car drive to that dude who hosts it and shank him.

Mark Mcgrath...yeah that dude from that shitty band ...Sugar Ray.... is now doing shitty television. I mean come on how is he a qualified news man.....well considering it is not REAL news then whatever.

So go away Rosie O'Connell go away Donald Trump go away Barbara Walters and fucking go away Mark Mcgrath.

later

AMBITION...WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

2007-01-08T23:46:00.001-05:00

I have recently come to the conclusion that ambition is highly over rated. I, for almost all of my 31 years have had a problem with ambition, that meaning that I have none. Well At least I was happy.

Well figuring that I am getting a little older I decided to try and become more ambitious. So I set out to find a new job. Very big goal for me. Well I was successful. I found a job in the field that I actually went to college for.

See after college I was lost. I mean that by I had no clue what to do and just puttered around from job to job for a while. Then I landed right at a job (my last job) that I was there for 9 years. I like the job and all but It was really just a place that I ended up.

Money was good hours were good. So why leave right?

Well ambition flew up my ass and made me leave a job I was at for so long.

I hate my new job. I forgot how ignorant people really are in the world. Let me explain, my last job I worked in an office most of the time by my self. A bit lonely but I got real used to it.

I actually loved it. No one bothered you, I could wear anything I wanted, no casual Fridays. Etc.

Well the new job it is completely opposite from what I had before. I know, I know change is good. But the new job hours are long and tedious, pay is not as good and they have casual Fridays.

I have always hated casual Fridays I am not really sure why, maybe just the term but I fucking hate it.

Any ways in short I left a job that I loved-liked-despised-sorta for a job I despise.

I get that fact that ambition is good but I should be reigned in. Too much of something is not always a good thing. especially since I had zero ambition for so many years.

I am sure that I could go back to my old job. But I do not want to be a quitter.

See again I try to do something positive for myself and I fuck my self over. I should not be left alone.

ERRRRRRR

ps. sorry for lack of post lately starting a new job sucks!

WHY?

2007-01-04T00:54:00.000-05:00

Why do drivers stare right at me when they blow the yield sign down the street, cutting me off?

Why does my mother always want beer out of a tall glass when she only fills it up half way?

Why when you get some money saved something always happens that cost almost that amount?

Why when you eat Chinese food you get so full but are hungry like 1/2 hour later?

Why are men so complicated even when they are not supposed to be?

Why does the cat puke on your bed right after you changed the sheets?

Why does the President Ford Memorial look like a car dealership?

These are just a few questions I am looking for answers to lately.

2007?

2007-01-02T23:40:00.000-05:00

Fuck Resolutions I seem to never keep to them any way.

Fuck resolutions because it makes me figure that I am a serious procrastinator.

Fuck resolutions why take away things that I like only to replace them with things I don't like. Because if I did like them I would have been doing them all along.

I do want to accomplish a few things this year. That is watch more TV, drink more beer, and not try to quit smoking.

Those are all things that I can totally accomplish.

FIRST NIGHT....OR LAST NIGHT????

2006-12-28T21:21:00.000-05:00

Why do they call New Years first night in certain parts of the country? I never got that. It should be called last night. It is, however, the last night of the year. I guess it must be some sick marketing thing.

I am, as like many other, probably going to party on the "last night"

I personally have a set of standard do's and don't's for New Year. Feel free to follow them or hell have your own rules. What the fuck do I care.

First the DO'S

1. Have a decent meal before drinking alcohol. Nothing worse than someone who passes out at 10:00pm. Of course there has to be one to make fun of.
2. Stick with whatever alcohol you normally drink. This is not the night to see if you like Jack Daniels. Trust me!
3. Wear comfortable clothing, but it must flow with the evening. If you are going some place fancy here you are screwed. I mean comfortable like can you wake up the next morning in?
4. Have transportation lined up in advanced. No matter where you live in the whole world it is almost impossible to get a cab on New Years.
5. Have a good time. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Why? Because 2007 might really suck for you.
6. Have someone to kiss after the ball drops. If not you will be one of the people who didn't and start drowning your sorrows in booze. (I swear that is important trust me)
7. If by chance you get lucky enough to have sloppy drunk sex ALWAYS use protection. (like for instance brown bag, blind fold, oh and condoms)

Now for the DON'T'S

1. Do not drink and drive. That is just dumb. Plus you will have more fun getting drunk than being stuck in a jail cell having to call your mommy.
2. Do not be caught at midnight next to some homely person that is looking for that New Years smooch. You will kiss them but then your friends will make fun of you.
3. Do not drunk dial people after midnight and scream into the phone "HAPPY NEW YEAR". I am pretty sure they know it is after midnight. And come on Grandma has to get up early.
4. Do not eat any Italian food prior to getting hammered all night. It may taste good going down but coming up is a whole different story.
5. Do not try to sing “Auld Lang Syne" you do not know the words NO one really knows the words.
6. Do not pass out where ever you want. Especially outside. Some parts of this country are cold that time of year. And you are not a bum so somehow make it home.

These are just a few of the guidelines that I follow. I am sure that you all have your own rules.

One rule that should be minded by all is

Have fun and be safe.

Have a Happy New Year all and do not drink and drive just drink!

LITTLE BY LITTLE

2006-12-28T05:47:00.000-05:00

As most of you know that on December 22nd it was the first day of winter. Most of the time that does no please me.

Not at all!

But I have put a sort of positive spin on that. For people like me that work at night, this is almost a blessing.

See on the first day of winter we gain back a minute of daylight each day. A minute may not seem like much but for someone who does not see the sun a whole lot that is a lot. So maybe by March I can see some sun.

See when I go to work....it is dark.
When I come home......it is dark.

Quite depressing. Never see sunlight for like 4-5 days straight.

So that you Winter Solstice I will embrace you. Well at least at this very moment.
I hate the Summer Solstice because that means we are losing a minute a day and that winter is coming.

I never thought I would actually think so deep on this subject. I must stop now my head hurts.

FINALLY IT IS OVER

2006-12-28T04:48:00.000-05:00

I hope all out there had a real nice Holiday. I know I did. I will probably still have this hangover when New Years rolls around.

To sum up my holiday experience it goes like this......

Beer, opened a gift and it was socks, ate food, another beer, opened a gift and again socks, ate more food, watched Christmas Story, beer, opened a gift this time long underwear, beer, nap, more food, more beer, more socks, more crap that I did not need and or want, beer, ate more food, beer.

Pretty much sums it up.

New Years should be good. I just hate having to make a resolution and have to break it 15 minutes in the New Year.

Gives me no sense of accomplishment. I don't know how that is any different from day to day but that is cool

outta.....here

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-25T01:27:00.000-05:00

bitches

TIS THE SEASON ---- WRAP UP

2006-12-22T01:16:00.000-05:00

It is almost over. This Holiday season. I for one am almost relieved. I mean toooo much shit to do. Why do we stress the fuck out over this shit every year. Not worth it.

No matter how much shit you buy how many damn presents are wrapped. You always forget someone. I say fuck it that is why god invented 24 hour gas stations, scratch off tickets and gift cards.

Here is MY 12 Days of Christmas:

On the 12th day of Christmas my not so true love gave to me...............

12...hundred times I called FedX to see where my package was
11...people in front of me at the post office
10..relatives that always hate what I get them
9....obscene gestures in the parking lot at the mall
8....cardboard tubes that the cats attacks
7....ways to tie a ribbon
6....curse words I use often!
5....months of credit card bills
4....paper cuts from wrapping
3....tooo many tequila shots at the Christmas Party....oops
2....many people everywhere
1....stop to the liquor store

Merry Christmas bitches!

ps. I would love to thank that local charity that has decided to earn money by having Valet Parking at the mall. I do not even care if you crashed the car. I just hate finding a spot.

THE HOLIDAY PINCH.....NOT IN A GOOD WAY

2006-12-18T22:28:00.000-05:00

Get it together people it is crunch time. There is like 5 days left to finish up all you fucking shopping. So stop fucking around.

It is time to stress out, spend all your money, drive for hour to get a parking space, and hope that all the efforts that you made will be worth it.

The ungrateful that you buy presents for might give you the "LOOK" you know the one that you make when you receive pj's from Aunt Helen. See if you just told Aunt Helen you sleep naked then she might stop buying you old lady Pj's.

I just say fuck all that and buy everyone Booze as presents. Spend enough at the Liquor store and they will give you free gift bags. One stop shop. Hell yeah!

So get off you ass and get out there, fight the crowds and spend all your money, I am sure Baby Jesus would approve.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

2006-12-15T05:11:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking lately about shit that people talk about. I actually listen to what they say and then wonder where they get off. I mean they are all just like me. Working and doing whatever so what makes them better.

People sometimes try to make themselves out better than they really are. I mean everyone is human no better than anyone else.

For example when you ask someone what they do for a living and they come out with this huge job title for something simple like cashier......that means that they graduated High School, never went to college but they are smart enough to count money and make up fancy words for their job.

Someone that says they are a in computers are probably in data entry of some sort. They did not finish college could not find a job then the bills rolled in.

Someone that says they are in Human resources typically they have a 4 year college degree in either......psychology, art, communications, or English. Not to knock it but. Just a few more years and you could of wasted time and money on a Masters that might of made you VP of human resources.

Hey I am there too....fuck it!

I also can't stand it when these people with their degrees throw it around like it is a license to prove me wrong. I mean hey you may have a 4 year degree in being a douche bag of psychology. but you work for a medical supply company. What the fuck!

I have a 4 year degree. I am not putting down education. I on the other hand do not let everyone I run into that I am a fucking slacker in college. Got my Bachelors degree in finance and did absolutely nothing with it. Do you think I want people to know that.....fuck no.

So I am just content that I wasted 50 grand(all paid off after 8 years) on college. It was the experience that I loved. I could care less that I work for this medical company.

So I want to let everyone out there with you 4 year degree.......congrats, email me I might just send you a stamp to mail in your student loan payment. I know with that Bachelors and working for a telemarketing firm, times might be tough.

whatever!

******update

I read this after I published it can't you tell some person I work with that thinks her shit does not stink pissed me off about being smarter than me. If not you can now. The best part is I proved her wrong. So I am really wondering why this post is so bitter.

TIS THE SEASON PART 2

2006-12-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

Here we are again in the festive month of the year for many. But there is one thing that always bothers me around this holiday and that is what to get for people.

I say no presents for anyone. But you can't so you fucking stress the fuck out over what to get who and weather you should go to this store or that store. Credit card or cash. Paper or fucking plastic.

That could be another good reason as why people get hammered so much this time of year.

I have a great solution to all this stress. It is a miracle, it is wonderful it is practical it is grand.

It is RE-GIFTING

The greatest idea ever. Well maybe not for the economy but for mental health perfect for me.
For re-gifting virgins out there. Re-gifting is the ART of taking all the fucked up crap that someone has given you over the years and giving it to someone else.

I call it an art due to the fact you just can't pick up some overly scratched ENYA CD and wrap it up and put a bow on it. Might of worked at 5 but not now. That is why all presents that are given to me that have absolutely no real practical value to me get put in a box in the closet.

When I am going to a Christmas party and ..... oops I forgot to pick up something for so and so. Go to the Box. When I forgot Secret Santa at work.......go to the box. When my boyfriends mother all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Eve......go to the box.

Saved my ass a million times.

For some not so savvy as to have that magic box.....(hehe) I have a list of bad re-gifters and a few tips:

1. Any already worn clothing.......with stains on it.
2. Used sex toys......if you do not still have the box it is yours for life
3. Do not give someone the same gift as they gave you last year....makes for some shit.
4. Canned goods.....especially corn
5. When presenting a regifted present in a gift bag. Make sure the tag on it does not have your name on it. Dead giveaway
6. Expired movie tickets....you can never get away with the excuse "that is how they sold it to me"
7. Bath gift baskets and you know the person lives in a small apartment with a stall shower.
8. Never give candy to someone that is a diabetic....unless you like to see someone slip in to insulin shock right in front of you.
9. Shoes that you never worn to someone with feet 3 sizes larger....dead giveaway
10. A book is a good gift but make sure that person can read.

So there are a few tips that might help you round out you re-gifter shopping list.

Remember it is not a sin to re-gift it is a sin to be a shitty re-gifter.

I have been recipient of some real bad gifts through the years. So this is pay back.

I have a had a fruit cake that some one gave me in a Secret Santa 3 years ago. Obviously that person forgot about Secret Santa. Big fuck. But who gives any one a Fruit Cake. It has been in the trunk of my car. I will be giving that to I believe my boyfriend's mother if she arrives UN planned this year.......do not fuck with people during the holidays it can be bad very bad.

KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS OLD MAN

2006-12-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

Today was like 45 degrees. May not seem like much to most but for Upstate New York on fucking December 12th. That is the shit.

The weather man said......"old man winter is up in Canada" ....."could come down anytime"

Hum funny I do not remember inviting him down.

So I say to old man winter..................STAY THE FUCK UP THERE. I do not want you here.

Sorry for all the cold ass people in Canada. But hey you live there and you know old man winter is a bastard.

I might be the only one that actually would not mind a little global warning. At least during the months of December through February.

Sue me Al Gore!!!!!!!!!!

TIS THE SEASON

2006-12-08T02:00:00.000-05:00

This time a year conjures up all sorts of good feelings and shit like that. We have family and friends all around us. Every one feels great. Happy smiling, laughing, singing, dancing and even loving.

You know why? Well could be a number of reasons. The Birth of Jesus in a manger, Chanakua..(I think that has something to do with a light and 8 days)

Another reason could be that you have all the loved ones around you. Maybe presents float your boat. (greedy little shit). Maybe you like the snow and below zero temps. (crazy fucker)

All those reasons are real good reasons but I have the ultimate reason that people are so happy around the Holidays........BOOZE and LOTS of IT

See smiling.......1 drink
See singing.......2 drinks
See dancing......3 drinks
Loving...............4+ drinks

I have no problem believing this to be true. I have probably proven this fact time and time again.

People say that some might be depressed around the Holiday's. They probably are, I will not make light of that. But the majority of people are drunk as a skunk and happy as hell. Well until the next morning.

So why we all settle in for a nice holiday season remember these few little tips:

1. Snowbanks make great make-shift coolers.
2. Do Not give uncle Tim more than 3 drinks because then he tries to start a fight.
3. Do not drink and drive, fall asleep in the drivers seat while warming up the car.
4. When getting drunk at company Christmas party....please try to refrain from any making out with Pete from the temp service. Also this is probably not the place to break dance.
5. Try not to take anyone you work with home. Just makes shit awkward.
6. No Double Fisted at any party. Have some restraint.
7. Do not get hammered and cry at the Company Christmas party. They will talk about you for a while
8. When making egg nog...use more Nog than egg. People will love it
9. Secret Santa should be avoided at all cost. What a stupid thing.....whole other post
10. If that hot dude from upstairs is dressed as Santa feel free to have a seat and tell him allllll the things you want for Chritmas.

So these are a few of my rules, I follow some of them. Any way I am sure you have some of your own. But when we get drinking I probably could not remember any of these except 10. Yeah I totally would remember 10. So be careful and keep advil and water near by. Have Fun

peace

I LIKE A GOOD PARTY!

2006-12-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

I of all people love a good party. I like the socializing, the boozing, the dancing what have you.

There are a few parties that I try to avoid at all costs. Some I can't some, I have to go to.

Party type #1....Pampered Chef, I hate these parties. No booze, no dancing, no socializing unless it is about the new hand blender that I could buy. Yeah fuck that, I would have to sell a kidney to buy an over priced spoon from them.

Party type #2....Candle parties, yeah I know it could of gone with the Pampered Chef one but it is not. Candle parties are a complete waste of time. To me most candles are the same. OK different colors, different smells, oh fuck that one has 3 wicks, as opposed to the 1 that I am used to. Where have I been, a candle with 3 wicks must be better than a candle with 1 wick. It must be much more technically advanced. Fuck that it is a candle.

Party type #3....A 1 year old birthday. Do not get me wrong I like kids. But if you are not the Parents you will not enjoy this. I am pretty sure that the 1 year old does not even know what the fuck is going on. Plus I never know what to buy for a 1 year old.

Party type #4....A 100Th birthday. Almost the same as the 1 year old, both have to do with no memory of the occasion, diapers and some drooling. But these typically have booze.

Party type #5.....The Company Christmas Party. I hate these the most. First of all I really do not like 75% of my co workers. The 25% I do are probably not going. The 75% that are, I probably should not drink around. Might be some words ya know. If there is dancing it is your boss that dances like the worst of all white bald dudes. And when you see Amy the 300lb receptionist doing the electric slide. Time to go.

So when all of you out there, like me, are forced to go to the Christmas party for your company this year. Remember I will probably be getting drunk in the corner with the janitor.

Tis the Season To Problem Drink

ONE HIT WONDERS

2006-12-01T04:44:00.000-05:00

I was sitting here listening to the radio. Now tonight they are playing a series of songs that I have not heard in years.

Mostly one hit wonders....you know when a band gets 1 big hit then blows all there money on houses and drugs. Then come to today and they are probably some computer programmer living in the Florida Keys.

I have decided to list 10 of my favorite and 10 of my least favorite one hit wonders of the woderful decade on the 90's.

10 ONE HIT WONDERS THAT I SECRETLY SING IN THE CAR OR SHOWER

1. "Groove is in the Heart".....Deee-Lite ca.1990 (I will not even secretly sing this one)
2. "Naked Eye"......Liscious Jackson ca. 1997 (I even owned the CD)
3. "Bitch".......Meredith Brooks ca. 1997 (never said I was proud of this)
4. "Bitter Sweet Symphony".........The Verve ca. 1998
5. "Hippychick".....SOHO ca. 1990
6. "I Touch Myself".....the Divinyls ca. 1990 (bullshit you know you do to)
7. "Jump Around"........House of Pain ca. 1992
8. "Supermodel (you better work)........RuPaul ca. 1993 (got to love tranny music)
9. "No Rain".......Blind Melon ca. 1993 (band would of been awesone if the lead singer did not die)
10. "Three Little Pigs".....Green Jelly ca. 1993 (They were called Green Jello but Bill Cosby got mad)

10 ONE HIT WONDERS THAT MAKE ME WONDER HOW THEY WERE A HIT

1. "Breakfast at Tiffianys"....Deep Blue Something ca. 1995
2. "I'm Gonna (500 Miles)....The Proclaimers ca. 1993 (real ugly twins)
3. "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"....Crash Test Dummies ca. 1994
4. "How Bizarre"....OMC ca. 1997
5. "Closing Time"....Semisonic ca. 1998
6. "Mambo No. 5".....Lou Bega ca. 1999
7. "Nothing Compares 2u"....Sinead O'Connor ca. 1990
8. "Just a Friend"........Biz Markie ca. 1990
9. "Wiggle It"......2 in a Room ca. 1990
10. "Pop Goes the Weasel"......Third Base ca. 1991

Just shows that all these songs are kind of sucky. If you look per decade can we really tell when music got shitty. Thank got for Pearl Jam and Alice and Chains they got me though my senior year in High School.

You know there are a few missing here. Not sure where it would go but "Stay" by Lisa Loed should be up there some where.

peace

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JUDD NELSON

2006-12-01T02:00:00.000-05:00

Just a quick comment on the whole Brit Pack thing. You know Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton tearing up the town in Hollywood.

I just want to know where Britney's kids are. I am sure they are well taken car of but come on the baby is like 3 months old.

Plus I want to add one thing.....

There is a time and a place for no underwear wearing. I could care less if it is all the time or never. That is a personal preference. But you do not going around flashing it to cameras. If I saw that in real life I would of probably puke at the fact that Paris showed her suzie.

Gross........dudes probably did not mind one bit.

Paris is a bad influence. I thought Lindsay and Paris hated each other. Fuck I can not keep up.

What do they all have in common besides being slutty celebrities.

Paris comes from money, Britney comes from the trailer park and Lindsey came from some freakish test tube experiment gone wrong. Plus that Lindsay Lohan has one nasty attitude. That I can admire though.

Lindsay and Paris probably have banged 90% of the West coast. Britney banged Justin Timeberlake

So please Britney go home take care of you babies. I am sure that they miss you at the trailer park anyway. Paris do something productive for Christs sake. Lindsay do NOT do another move please. Party all the time with no underwear on. That will keep you off the big screen.

I want to also let them know that 3 whorish bitches can never replace what I know as the one and only BRAT PACK

I would of totally hung out with that crowd.

TOP 10

2006-11-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

Why should Letterman be the only one with a Top 10.

Top 10 Christmas songs that I Wish I never have to hear again:

1. Feliz Navidad (song)" – Jose Feliciano <EM>....the first time you hear it for the year it is cool but after that NOPE

2. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" – ..... No mater what version mommy is a tramp

3. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" –In all my 31 years I have never rocked around my tree. Mostly because it is in the corner. Now if it was called Rockin In FRONT of the Christmas tree it would of never made this list.

4. "Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey" ...... no clue what this song really has to do with Christmas. Maybe in Italy but not in New York. Is the Donkey in Italy like Santa. Fuck who knows

5. "All I Want For Christmas Is My 2 Front Teeth ......fuck that now it is a Play Station 3

6. "Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" – .....I have always hated this song and I have no Idea why... plus I might be wrong but didn't Bing Crosby beat his wife?

7. Macareana Christmas......why could it not just die with the dance it had to carry over to christmas

8. "Christmas Time is Here" – Originally composed for the television show A Charlie Brown Christmas . ..........goes with the cartoon and for some reason that cartoon depresses me so now of course I associate the song.

9. "White Christmas ........Yeah who is going to shovel the sidewalk, clean my car off and I hate when my feet get cold and wet.

10. The Chipmunks (Christmas don't be late) .....was cute when I was 7 is annoying now at 31. Plus Alvin is a little shit.

Again I like Christmas very much just some of the songs I could do with out. So pleas do not make me out for a scrooge. I am truly not.

If any one has any other favorites that they hate let me know!

peace

SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T THINK

2006-11-29T02:11:00.000-05:00

Since tonight is my first night back since Thanksgiving. I am a little tired. I know you do not care but please follow along I am getting to a point.

So falling asleep like I was I figured a little caffeine buzz might help me out a bit. So I go into the kitchen here at work to grab a cup. See now I normally try not to drink coffee because caffeine sometimes is just a bit too much for me. While I was in there checking out the coffee options on the new fancy coffee machine. I see that it has espresso, cappuccino, regular, and hot cocoa.

I knew I was tired so I need a real jolt. So I made myself a coffee that was half Espresso and half cappuccino. Little did I know that the combo would be the equivalent to doing and 8-ball in like 10 minutes.

Not that I ever did and 8-ball. Not even close. The most drugs I ever did was smoked pot and dabbled in some mushrooms. Not that I am justifying this but hey fuck it it is already done. I am older a just a bit wiser. I cut out the mushrooms........

But back in the day I had friends that would do coke all the time. It was never for me I cant even handle the buzz from a weak ass cup of Joe. So that was never for me.

But I had a friend that used to do coke allllll the time. See you would never witness her do it she was sly but you knew she was buzzing because whenever she was high she wanted to braid your hair and do your nails.

Me having very long hair at the time was always a target for this girl. So here she comes sniffling and staring at this long hair that she could braid all night. Because I am not going to argue with a coke head that shit might get you shanked.

So when I would go home from her house after a Friday night my boyfriend at the time would be there and staring at me wondering why I looked like a white Alan Iverson. I would just say oh these Katie was doing coke again tonight. He would be like oh OK and start to help me take them out.

Another friend used to get real paranoid and think every one was judging her. I probably was because she acted like such a freak. With that white shit crusted on the corners of her mouth.

See I could care less what other people do. I was never folded by peer pressure. So I had drug addict friends. Some have grown up and changed and had there families and cut all that shit out. Some still think they are 18. Who am I to judge.

Well now that I think about it there was really no point that I got to. sorry

peace

GOOD GREIF!

2006-11-29T00:02:00.000-05:00

I am soooo glad that I am working to night because if I wasn't I would of probably watched the

Charlie Brown Christmas special.

Not that I do not like Christmas, I really do But I hate the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. It is so fucking depressing.

Here is a list of the Christmas specials (movies, cartoons etc) that depress me:

1. It's A Wonderful Life, please seems to me that it was NOT a wonderful life. Embezzlement, drinking and driving...fuck I am depressing myself thinking about it.

2. Charlie Brown Christmas, what the fuck the kids were all mean to him the tree was in reality a branch.

3. Miracle on 34th Street, come on they wanted to put Santa away for being crazy.

4. A Christmas Story, do not kill me I actually like this but when they play it ALLLL fucking day on Christmas and I watch it it depresses me that I wont change the channel.

5. Frosty the Snowman, I think that there was some pedophile traits with that snowman.

6. Grinch, Movie not cartoon, hate the remakes.

The beautiful thing about Christmas specials they all have a happy ending. That is good.

This is a list of my all time favorite Christmas shows:

1. Christmas Vacation, great movie

2. Emmit Otters Jug band Christmas, have not seen it in years but LOVE it.

3. Rudolph, how can I hate that I am not a monster!

4. Grinch, Cartoon Not movie. Love the Dr. Seuss

So as you can see it is all good.

So I will just keep working now and be happy in the fact that I was at work at 8pm tonight and Charlie went around being a doormat for all those kids for yet another year. But again it ends up all happy and shit. Next year I will watch it if they change it and Charlie Brown gets all empowered and shit.

peace

CAN'T YOU ALMOST SMELL THE YAMS....DO YAMS HAVE A SMELL

2006-11-22T21:33:00.000-05:00

As most Americans know tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This holiday is one of my favorites. Because only in America do we celebrate a day that revolves around food.

No gifts, no trees, no handing out of candy, no fireworks. Just food.

Aww how sweet, we will all gorge ourselves sit around and watch football.

Plus the family is all around that could be good and that could be bad depends on YOUR family. People seem to like this holiday a lot due to the fact they get a Thursday off from work and usually take the Friday off to get the nice extended weekend.

I went one step past that and took Friday and Monday off for a SUPER long weekend. Freakin sweet!

So remember when you are cooking or eating tomorrow or whatever your role is remember that the can of beets might be the can that mom forgot to put out last year and hopefully she remembered to take the bag of innards out of the cavity of the turkey this year.

Oh and a warning to those yahoos that feel the need to deep fry a turkey 5 feet from the house or a dead pine tree. Do not leave it unattended to go get a beer. Because before you know it you will be call the Fire Department.

So have a nice Thanksgiving and give thanks to all the Native Americans that we stole from and gave disease, because if it was not for them and this day that we celebrate we would have died the first winter.

Happy Thanksgiving

GIVE ME A BREAK

2006-11-22T01:27:00.000-05:00

I was just listening to the radio and I heard the song: "Paradise by the Dash Board Lights" By Meatloaf.

What a fucking stupid song. As long as that damn song has been around I think this was actually was the first time that I listened to the words. And I wonder why people like that song or for that matter Meatloaf. (the singer)

And who is the lady that sings with him. Did she ever get any credit. Fuck if she did I might know her name. She got a bad gig having to sing with that fat gross guy who I would think is sweaty. Who sings about underage sex in a car. She wont bone him unless he says he Loves her and then he wants to sleep on it and give her an answer in the morning. Yeah Fucking right

that is all

RELAX DON'T DO IT

2006-11-21T01:38:00.000-05:00

This weekend I was in Long Island for a very good friends of mine wedding. I live up here and she lives down there but we have managed to say great friends for like 10 years.

So this being her 2ND marriage I was psyched to go. I fucking love weddings. Some don't but I do. I love the people all dressed up, I love the open bar, I love the music and because I like the open bar so much I love to dance. Normally I am not a dancer. We go to clubs around here and I never dance. Maybe because it is the music all techno and shit. See at a wedding you dance to a whole bunch of different music. Nothing is really the same so that makes my dance moves unpredictable. No one knows what I am going to do next.......Back to that later.

Well PM and I left Friday morning. We packed up the car and headed down to Long Island. Half way there I realized that I forgot my shoes. I thought for a minute fuck it get a different pair of shoes down there. But I couldn't the shoes matched my dress perfectly so there we were driving back an hour.

So it is safe to say that the weekend trip did not start on the right foot. Fast forward to Saturday. Wedding day. I looked fucking awesome. PM handsome as ever. (he had forgiven me for the detour, I had to "work at it a bit" but it happened) And we were off to the ceremony. Blah blah pretty and beautiful all that shit.

Then we go to the RECEPTION.....peoples only reason really to go to a wedding. Walk in all decorated and shit, little finger food for appetizers, bar open and people milling around. You look around to see where you were seated and hope that it is not the "left over" table. You know the one where no one is related they got the pity invite. I found my table and it was not the "left over table" actually I thought it was the coolest in the room. but that is just me.

So I was chatting having a few cocktails then dinner then my favorite part. The DJ starts. At this point most people are pretty buzzed. So I am fucking ready.

I danced a few times with PM then with some dud I went to college with. Then I had a few more drinks and there was no need for a dance partner. I was tearing up the joint.

My interpretive dance to "Relax Don't Do It" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood will forever go down in history.

I am not a good group dancer you know the ones that have pre determined steps like Electric Slide and shit like that. I want to know when they stopped the chicken dance I loved that shit.

The DJ was OK but I have one question is it customary in any wedding that takes place in Long Island that you have to play 3 or 4 Bill Joel songs. Maybe he has a law down there who knows. But everyone in Long Island knows all the words to every Bill Joel song ever.

So I danced and drank my ass off. Spent some time with some old friends and had a great time.
My leg muscles still hurt some today.

Damn

WHY

2006-11-16T01:27:00.000-05:00

Why would Green Day and Bono do a song together. I just do not see the connection.

Bono I thought you were busy ending poverty. Where did you find time to make the dumbest fucking song I have heard in a long fucking time.

Green Day must of lost a bet! Yeah it was a bet gone crazy.

Radio station plays it all the mother fucking time!!!!! I emailed them and told them to stop. They better listen or I might just change the channel.

WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD TALK SHOWS!

2006-11-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

I just am wondering what the fucked happened to decent talk shows. I mean you have Oprah, The View, Ellen etc but come on they have famous people on.

I am talking about the good old talk shows, like Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer (ca. 1996), Queen Latifa, Ricki Lake. I could go on and on.

Now I know that Jerry Spring is still on but that is a train wreck there. I mean it just consists of inbred, toothless, ignorant mother fuckers throwing punches and fighting over another toothless wonder. But Jerry Springer back many years ago was interesting. Weird lesbian triangles, trannys, freaks and shit like that.

I see that shows like Maury and Montel are on but that is bull shit.

Montel always has either crazy video or that psychic bitch that is mean to all the audience. But Montel has MS and he is trying to legalize marijuana so he is alright in my book.

But Maury Povich is a whole other story.

All he has on there are whores, whore, and more whores.

All who can't find their babies daddy, (I wonder how that is because most of the women failing all these fucking paternity tests are busted and wonder how they got one guy to impregnate them never the less 14 failed tests to find out who their babies daddy is.)

I saw on there today 5 young girls all like 14 or 15 screaming and carrying on that they want a baby. They are so determined to have a baby they will sleep with any one just to get it.

Now I see the beauty in Maurys thinking. Get them pregnant young, get them back for the paternity test next year. Makes a consistent show.

I will say this I am not 15, I am not a whore, I do not want a baby and I would not go on TV telling every one I fucked a guy for a bag of potato chips. (no joke)

So I pretty much know that this is pretty much all fake but it makes me think that these young girls have no idea, they need to be young. They need to not have children because we do not need more ignorant retards that will end up on some fucked up talk show SCREAMING about something stupid.

I wonder do they see the show later, if they do are they embarrassed. Fuck If I saw one of the screaming bitches on the street I might start a fight with them. Actually I probably would.

Fuck it!

A DREAM

2006-11-14T01:42:00.000-05:00

I have to write this down because it was one of the most bizarre dreams I ever had. I mean not scary or anything just weird.

OK here goes.

It starts out where I am going to make a car payment. I was not going to the post office or anything I was dropping it off at an old farm house. On a road where there was just this one house. I put the payment in the mailbox.

It was a beautiful day not a cloud in the sky but very windy. As I went back to the car I hear a voice yell "hey" I look around no one there.

I hear it again "hey" I look around and nothing. I look up and it is Trent Resnor hanging from a tree towards the top. The wind was blowing him all around. He wanted to help him get down. Seems he was parachuting and he got stuck in the tree.

So I called 911 and before I got off the phone there were like 50 people there getting him out of the tree. '

So I went over to see if he was OK and he said thanks for helping me get out of the tree. Then he gave me a roll of dimes in appreciation.

Then I woke up.

Fucked up right!

SAY IT AIN'T SO CRUSTY!!!!!

2006-11-09T23:40:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful day out today and one of the few that we will have for months. I could of gone home and slept all day but I didn't. I decided to call PM get him to take the morning off and go golfing.

Now I never have been a great golfer but I am so so for someone that has only been playing for 6 years now. I will say I am no Michelle Weeeeee but I am like she was at 2 years old.

OK now that you know I am a total retard that plays golf let me explain something. I do not wear all that gay golf wear. I wear what ever I feel like. NO patterns ans NO belted shorts...EVER.

Well this morning was beautiful a bit chilly but good enough. I got an 8am tee time and we were off. I did horrible I was so bad that I wondered what the Fuck I will never make it playing like this. (By making it I mean at 31 years old I would like to be on the High School JV team)

So that was that I went home to sulk. So while I was relaxing on the couch I get a call from a friend. I will not mention her name but I will give you the initials. DF. She will hate me but OK.

So I was mentioning that I bagged it so bad on the links this AM. She did not seem so surprised. I was like either feel bad for me or explain why you are being so smug.

She explained to me that it was not my fault that I sucked it was my tits getting in the way. I was like Fuck you that is stupid.

So I said there are many woman golfer out there and they have boobs.

her response:

DF: they are all small breasted woman.
DS: shut up
DF: Anaka sorenstam; small boobs
DS: OK
DF: Michelle We; she is like 12 I do not think she even hit puberty yet so no boobs
DS: wow
DF: all the women on the LPGA that have a little thickness to them?
DS: yeah
DF: what are their names
DS: I don't know
DF: exactly they suck because they have a large C cup or bigger than a d cup. The twins get in the way! That I think is proven in science

So as retarded as that conversation was it made me think Fuck she is right. That conversation probably brought woman back a few years for progress in golf but the truth hurts. Boobies get in the way of a perfect golf swing.

Ever see a guy with man boobs 13 under par. I do not think so!

I know this post was a bit crazy and probably hurtful to some large chested women that had dreams of making it to a sanctioned LPGA event. But look on the bright side we actually look like woman with our boobies. Those flat chested, really awesome at golf, gym teacher, Indigo girl listening types look like little boys with mullets.

so until later

YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!

2006-11-07T21:52:00.000-05:00

I will not even tell you that it is Election day and every person that is capable should be getting off their asses and casting a vote. I could tell you that.

But I wont.

I went and voted very early this AM after work. I am always amazed when I go and vote. You walk in sign you name in the book. Then wait. While I waited I noticed that the oldest of the old people are running the show.

I guess they are the only ones that can stay there all day and they wont have to go to work. So at least they get one day a year where they feel needed.

I love to vote, I know I know a lot of people say that their vote does not "count" but I believe that it does. If in reality I believe that it counts, it counts to me.

It counts because then for 1 more year I can praise or complain about the events of every 2ND Tuesday in November.

Before I went and voted this morning all week I have been doing my homework on all the candidates.

We have a thief, wife beater, 2 tax evaders, a real loud mouth bitch and a dude with small man syndrome. Oh and the one that tapped her husbands phone to find out if he was cheating on her.

So I guess in all other states besides NY you must of had roughly the same thing. The candidates whether they are Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green party or Communist. they all have something wrong with them. So I choose the ones that have some what less stuff wrong with them. A feat harder than it sounds.

I will say this I never have voted for some one in the green party but I love their platforms. No matter what it is they always want to legalize Marijuana. To me that is funny.

So at this point the polls are close and you all have voted I hope. So by tomorrow morning we can hear all the results and wait one more year for all those fucking commercial to start again.

So until then later

WHAT A GOOD DAY FOR A MONDAY!!!!!

2006-11-07T01:52:00.001-05:00

I have had the best Monday I think in the History of the world. I swear. Usually I hate Mondays but if they all went like this I would look forward to Mondays every week.

I bet you are dying to know why huh? OK OK I will tell ya.

1. I slept all day for my night shift with out anyone calling me, and when they did call me I actually was oversleeping so it worked out perfect.

2. I bought a scratch off ticket and won 20 dollars.

3. I found out that the Christmas party is open Bar at a real nice Hotel (my good friend is real pissed at that because her work is having some rinky dink buffet at the Casino) hee hee

4. I decided that I am going to the Christmas party. (not just because of open bar....well really because of that)

5. I got a new credit card in the mail with a 10, 000 dollar limit. Woo hoo!

6. I got a new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes you heard it right I got a new job!! I was really looking to get out of here and get a different job you know one that is during the fucking day!! I mean Christ. Also I will actually be doing something that I spent 10's of thousands of dollars going to school for so long.

The only thing I used out of college was that shot gunning a beer will get you wasted, and the bigger the bong the bigger the cough!

Well I will tell you what I am doing! I got a job with a local finance firm. I am now a Financial planner. Well as of the January 1st. I plan finances. Sounds easy, it is. I went to College for all that good stuff and I have been working at a medical supply company for 5 years.

Getting comfortable is OK. But this job pays a lot more. So I got off my ass and went to interview with this company. The fucking guy loved me. Hired me on the spot!

So I start the first week in January.

Then I wondered about blogging! Like that is the most important thing to think about today!

Well with my NEW job I can work at home part of the day and at work I will have an office.

From cubicle to office! Man I am moving the fuck up.

I will miss all my night friends, I have gotten used to sleeping all day and being up all night. Well we all have to move on.

So you may wonder why I have to wait so long to start, well a woman is going on Maternity leave in January and she has expressed that she wants to stay home with the baby. Who fucking cares I got a new fucking Job!!!!!

Fuck yeah. I will be like 90 percent of the world again......awake during the day!!!

I want to see what Tuesday has in store for me.

Until later

BRAND NEW SNEAKERS AIN'T GOT NO JOB HOW DO YOU DO IT...DOO DOO DOM!!!!

2006-11-03T01:51:00.000-05:00

This is Doo Doo Dom......

He is the local vagrant!

Not sure if the Picture will come out all that well. it was taken by me on my phone and I was a little loaded at the time.

Any way this is Doo Doo Dom. You can call him Doo Doo for short if you like. He is about 36 or 37. He fell off a wall when he was like 12 now he is a little off to say the least. See what he is doing here. Someone would not give him a cigarette. So I think he is fake crying. See that is what Doo Doo does he pretends to cry. I have no Idea why. maybe for sympathy.

Maybe for a 40oz. who knows.

Well do not feel bad for him he is not like homeless or anything he lives with his mom a block or so away. He is a little mental, he smells real bad, and he like to play his air guitar on the corner.

I just wanted to post this because I think Doo Doo Dom need to be on the Internet. He need to have his 15 minutes of fame. Next I am going to get him doing his dance to "hotel, motel Holiday Inn." It is real funny. I would buy him a beer if he does it. Will dance for beer. He will, has for years.

Some times I see the local kids make fun of him but he does not even care. I tell those kids to leave him alone they could fall off their bike and next thing you know they will be playing the air drums to compliments Doo Doo's air guitar.

Most the time I give him a few cigarettes so he does not pick them out of the ash trays and smoke them.

The moral here is be nice to the local vagrants they might just start crying.

Until later!!!

SHOUT OUT!**

2006-11-01T23:25:00.000-05:00

This is a shout out to the local weatherman:

Hey Weatherman you said that the rain would not start until after midnight. Well it is 11:20pm and it is fucking snowing out. But you have 35 minutes to go if it does not RAIN you were right on.

Hey Weatherman I know you live a few houses down and I see you in your little BMW but is it completely necessary to have a personalized license plate that says "DOPPLER"

Hey Weatherman I see you at the gym and it is not working all that well, but it was working out well for you and your lady friend in the hot tub huh!

Hey weatherman I see your wife at the neighbors house a lot. You know that guys house where he is home all day and walks around in a towel. Just thought you should know. I am not quite sure what she is doing over there but I am sure it has to do with booze and condoms.

Hey Weatherman thanks for inviting me to all of your barbeque's you know the ones where all those local TV yuppie fucks stand around and get blitzed. I do enjoy them, because when I go home I call everyone I know and tell them who was playing hide the sausage. And we laugh.

**yes I do live down the street from the local weatherman and he deserved this post because I hate it when it snows. also I hate the term shout out

I KNEW IT WOULD END UP LIKE THIS I JUST FUCKING KNEW IT

2006-11-01T01:44:00.000-05:00

This is just a post to get something off my chest that has been pissing me off for a good part of the night now.

I knew if I got back with PM he would start to pull the shit he pulled 8 months ago when we broke up initially. I was fucking right but you know what the worst part is that it really sucks to tell yourself I told ya so.

But I can

I knew once I slept with him again that he would want to start dating again pick up where we left off. I warned him before we did this that all the reasons he was not satisfied with me had not changed.

I am probably one of the only 31 year old woman out there that is not looking for the whole "white picket fence" dream.

He broke up with me months ago because I did not want to get married and have 50 babies. At least I was being honest. So he set out to find a woman who would.

Well there he ends up in my bed. I fucking knew I should not do this but hey a girl has needs. Ya know!!!

So just today he was at my house this morning when I got home. I was very tired and I just wanted to lay down for like a half hour. So I go in the nice warm bed to chill after 14 hours of work. But ohhhh nooo I have get in an in dept conversation on how my house is probably too small for 2 people to live in.

I was like what 2 people? I live here with a cat you have a house 5 blocks away. He said but I am here a lot and I just figured........

Hum just figured I wanted you to move in. Ummm No! I had to get this house after we broke up and move all of MY stuff HERE in MY house because you stayed in OUR house. So this is mine and it is small because I live with one cat.

Well this started the argument of all arguments. How I do not know how to look in the future with him how I don't want to plan ahead with him.

See this is what I fucking knew what happened. I told him that I warned you that I had not changed in 8 months and you were OK with that. I pretty much told him this was more about sex and having someone to bring to a wedding as a date. I had told him up front this was just going to be that easy. No complications. But again I was off a little on that theory.

So anyway I told him that no matter what happens, with us that I care about him I just can't marry him and have his kids. I know that he just left me a voice mail and I thought I would write this first so I could get all the shit out of my head and listen to him with a clear head.

Well sorry you had to endure all the stupid drama that is my personal life but fuck it it happens!

WHAT IS WORSE?

2006-10-31T23:08:00.000-05:00

Listening to Halloween music all day or listening to the new Paris Hilton CD?

That, for me is a very difficult question to answer!

Both of them are scary and eerie! Both of them are horrible and both of them make me want to sacrifice something.

If I had to choose I would rather listen to the Fucking Monster Mash on a continuous loop than to hear 1 more fucking "stars don't...what the fuck ever they do"

Between Paris Hilton, Rachel Ray, David Hasselhoff and Halloween today I think I am going to commit myself In a nice padded room! Anyone want to come and hang out?

THAT IS JUST WEIRD!

2006-10-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

I was checking my blog today when I got into work and I will say that the Google ads are just fucked up.

I was looking at the latest one that says "nasty hardcore anal sex"

I know I can't change what they put there, but why the fuck would they put that. I do not believe that I ever used the term, hardcore, or anal. I probably have used nasty and sex but why do I get the hardcore anal part.

I think someone at google is having a little joke. That is OK with me I just really want to click on it to see what Google has to offer. But unfortunately there are certain sites blocked by work. I did not try but I am sure nasty hardcore anal sex is one of them.

I bet after typing nasty hardcore anal sex so many times in this blog I will definitely get some Unique visitors. Anything to boost readership.

I guess if you want to find some "nasty hardcore anal sex" you will have to come here and click on the advertisement. Or backdoor pleasure pics. I am not 100% sure what that even means.

I would have to guess that it is a nice collage of pics of back doors. I might be wrong there.

So be brave and, in a dark room and click on nasty hardcore anal sex, and let me know what it is all about.

So until later!!!!

100 NOW WHERE IS MY CAKE

2006-10-29T00:27:00.000-04:00

I was just looking at this shit and I realized that this is my 100th post. Quite impressive I think, especially since every one of them minus like 3 have been dome on company time.

Hum just like this one. Don't you just love America. The land where no one pays attention to people that work at night.

Well I normally do not work on Saturdays but I got roped in because of some fucked up weird situation. I would tell you all about it but I am sure that you do not care. Actually I know you don't because I really don't care.

I will say this the radio station I normally listen to is playing some weird techno shit and I am losing it with every beat.

Saturdays are for boozing it up and having crazy sex*, not for working! I think that making me work tonight was completely retarded. I mean I have done nothing but go on the Internet and answer a few calls. But hey pay me double time I don't care. Fuck it!

I will say this I should of prepared something for #100 but as in life I really have no clue what the fuck I am doing. Fuck it!

I will tell you this I just got into a huge fight with PM on the phone because I neglected to tell him I had to work and he was looking all over for me. Oops my bad.

But that fuck is not my father so he can be a bitchy whiny ass bitch if he wants. I have to tolerance for needy. Fuck him!

All in all this was a pretty lame #100 but I have no creativity on Saturdays I suppose. Monday I will come back with a zinger!!!!

Alright later.

*only once that happened and that is a completely different post. and I think I was the crazy part.

BETTER THAN BEING POOR

2006-10-24T23:49:00.000-04:00

I was over at Izzy's blog reading on how to use a bidet. Riveting really. It reminded me of something that drives me crazy.

Alright I work in for a medical company. I answer fucked up questions like do I need to take this pill now. My answer is pretty much yes.

But that reminds me of one evening when a poor elderly woman had ordered 10 Fleets Enema from us and when she got them the print on how to use them was too small for her to read.

In my opinion if you can't read it you should probably not be giving her self an enema. But being the employee I am I went and got a fleets and had to explain on how to use it.

I doubt that even if my best friend called me on the phone and wanted me to walk them though this I wouldn't.

But I was pretty sure this woman was a little desperate. I had a feeling at least. Well she was so happy that I was willing to help her with that trying situation that she got my name and every medical question she had she would call and ask for me. I know I am a jerk sometimes but I do feel bad sometimes for the elderly.

Next time you are in a grocery store look for the fleets enema box and read it. The pictures are very humorous.

Maybe some day i will tell you the time a woman call me and asked how her Massengil douche worked.

The things we do for money

CAREFUL FRITOS CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS

2006-10-24T03:47:00.000-04:00

I want to tell the world that Fritos are dangerous.

I was just eating a 60 cent bag of Fritos from the vending machine and some how I am not really sure how it happened. A Frito cut my mouth. Not just on the side, It cut under my tongue that little flap of skin that holds your tongue in place. Ouch mother fucker that shit hurts.

It also reminds me of when I eat Captin' Crunch that shit will tear up your gums like crazy!

So be careful out there some food might just fuck you up!!!!!

I LOVE LONG WEEKENDS

2006-10-24T01:49:00.000-04:00

The only reason I got a long weekend was that strangely enough I came down with a very strange illness. It was called game7itis.

I had to call in to watch the game and as we all know the Mets lost. BOO fucking HOO. Maybe next year. Well after I got over my strange illness I still could not go to work because I came down with....doyouwanttogotoATLANTICcityitis. Very rare illness. But feeling much better.

So after the Mets lost I had to pick my spirits up by going to Atlantic City for a long weekend with PM.

I had a great time and all but stupid PM did not want to gamble all that much so this was a bone of contention between us. You can only see sooooo many stupid shows. So a little argument ensued but I sort of won after all because he still paid for the room and I got to gamble.

All is fucking good. I did have a little incident with a woman from Russia or some shit....

she was being a real bitch at the Black Jack table. Now usually I know when people are drunk to leave them alone but this bitch needed to be told.

She was sitting next to me it was like 1am and kept leaning on me. Of course I knew it was a ploy to look at my cards. Fuck you drunk ass I am on to you.

So I told her to fucking quit it and she wouldn't.

Then to fucking really set me off she spills her fucking drink on me and I believe it was some sort of Vodka mixed with Vodka. It fucking stunk.

Knowing full well this bitch as drunk as she was could take me I figured that I should just let it go. But I couldn't, the dealer was getting her tossed from the floor due to her being wasted off her ass. And she turns to me and called me "American Bitch"

Now I know I am a bitch and I know I am American and fuck I am proud of that but she does not need to inform me of that. So I turn around at this point PM was there trying to calm me down. No chance of that.

I totally can't remember the actual words that came out of my mouth but I am sure that they weren't all that nice. But the whole thing ended when security came over dragged her out and I got comp tickets for a ton of shit.

So normally i would of been in her face telling her off but I was a little more polite and it worked out in my favour. Fucking a go figure.

I guess when I act like and adult it sort of works out sometimes. Huh I am going to have to remember that.

And If anyone wants to know....I lost my shirt in AC. Not pretty. '

No really I lost a nice black shirt I think the maid stole it.

alright later!

YA GOTTA BELIEVE!

2006-10-18T23:17:00.001-04:00

LETS GO METS

Come on everyone help me root-root-root for MY home team.

Just finished watching the game and I want to say that post season baseball really is giving me a heart attack. I will be a mess tomorrow night.

Game fucking 7 = agida, hair pulling, chain smoking and many other things that most do when nervous.

Lets go boys game 7 is ours!!!!!

Being a Mets fan for do long I was a kid in '86 but I remember watching that at knowing that was something awesome.

Being a Mets fan in the past has not been easy and watching the game tonight was not real easy.

God I need a xanax to watch game 7. oh shit I will need a morphine drip when they get to the World series.

COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR

2006-10-17T05:29:00.000-04:00

In the last 4 and 1/2 hours they have played Jimmy Buffet "Margaritaville"

FOUR times. What the fuck that is totally unnecessary. Besides that I believe they played more Billy Joel than one person needs to hear.

You may ask "why does she just not change it"

Good question I have no Idea. Instead of getting up and change it I wrote this blog. That is truly fucked up.

800 CHANNELS AND THERE IS BOUND TO BE SOMETHING ON

2006-10-17T00:57:00.000-04:00

I heard the other day that shit about North Korea on the TV. Yeah, yeah I know you are all wondering where the fuck has she been.

I know a little late but better than not at all.

I will say this why are we all so fucking surprised at that Kim Jong Il or what ever that crazy fuckers name is.

Look at him he is the North Korean version of Tammy Faye Baker minus the tears. I know some men now a days wear make up. Not many I am sure but Kim Jong Il runs the fucking make up counter at the Local North Korean Macy's.

He is also been seen wearing woman's clothes. Now I am not saying that cross dressing is wrong. I know some of you out there do it. But being a Dictator of a country where they only have 2 television stations, starving people and you wear make-up and dresses. It all seems a little wrong.

I was watching where that Lisa Ling got in the country by lying to them saying she was a doctor or something. But if North Korea had more than 2 television stations I am sure some of them would or remembered her from Oprah or even the View.

I would never be able to live without choices. Think about it we are the luckiest people in the world just for the small fact we have choices. Christ on my cable I have like 800 choices.

So to Kim Jong Il or what ever you name is take the Nuke put it up your ass and then try to test it. I saw something about it on Discovery....oh you don't get that channel, I swear that is what it said on "how to test a nuclear weapon"

I think I am going to mail Kim Jong Il a coupon for free installation for Time Warner's all In One package. He might like that. Then when he is sitting on his sofa staring at 400 channels getting sensory overload we know we got him then. 30 Minute meals marathon alone buys us alot of time to get in there and take the nukes. I bet he would love the Real World.

Fuck I am always thinking!

NOT THAT IS COOKING

2006-10-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

If this was in my kitchen I would be the next mother fucking Martha Stewart

I think that there is a recipe there but I can't get past Peach Cobb.............

I LOVE ME AND EVERYTHING I STAND FOR

2006-10-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

I love being a fuck up every once in a while. I made the last post, which got deleted, on purpose to piss off PM. HEHEHEHE

I wrote it went to work and convientely left my computer on at home. I just like to piss people off. Well anyway I get home this morning to him already up and looking quite pissed off.

I was like wow up so early. HEHEHEHEHE

Well long story short he was annoyed with me and started to be a big fucking baby. HEHEHE

So I told him that he should not read my private stuff. HEHEHE Even if I do leave it out.

So in a tiring conversation over this he was still mad. I only did it to piss him off so that I can get some time off from his ass. HEHEHEHE

I then come on here tonight to see that he had deleted the post. Oh well I can always put another one up that is worse. Maybe I will.

I have fun being and ass sometimes. I set him up he fell right into it.

Oh and if you missed my last post because you were slacking on your reading that is ok. It was something to the effect that sometimes I fake orgasms on occasion, usually when drunk because sometimes I have had enough. HEHEHEHE

Well it was true but very rare.

The worse part is that now he know that I have this blog. No one not even my mother knew about this. I liked it that way. Complete freedom to say shit without hurting feelings. I guess me being an ass killed that plan.

I know that he probably will not even remember how to get here but he might. I told him to leave my private shit alone.

******************************************

On another note I was doing my research on The Hoff and I wondered how he became popular. I used to watch Knight Rider and I used to love it. Never watched Baywatch, But i know right now that Europeans love him, He is like 3 on the charts with this hit.......

Please tell me why!!!!!! I could of made a better video and song if I had Downs Syndrome

gotta go later

UP TO HERE I TELL YA!!!!

2006-10-10T21:59:00.000-04:00

I have had it up to hear with some people. Not all people mind you but some very special ones. There is this stupid bitch that I work with on occasion that is such a fucking retard that I actually feel bad calling her a retard because I would rather work with the mentally challenged than with her.

She is like the Paris Hilton of my job except that she is probably a little smarter than Paris, that is saying something at least.

Well I over heard her on the phone tonight saying that the government has ruined America and that the government is blah blah blah. You know shit.

So she gets off the phone I politely ask her. Why would you think that the government ruined America. Her answer is "because the government is stupid."

What the Fuck does that mean. Does that mean she does not like the form of government? Does that mean she thinks that some of the members of our government are stupid. (some are sort of dumb) (but for the sake of conversation you know)

She says that she hates people in office from the president all the way down to congressmen.

I asked her then when you go and vote vote for who you like and then you can try to fix that problem.

Her response "oh I do not vote"

What the Fuck!!

Well then go vote and fucking quit complaining.

Her response "oh I am not even registered"

What the Fuck!!

Women especially have only had the right to vote not as long as men. We should go out vote and whether or not you think your vote does not count then just do it because at one time we were not allowed to vote. We were in essence 2nd class citizens.

So after a long speech to her that you can't complain about the government until you vote then you can just shut the fuck up.

I really do not care how people vote, Republican, democrat, Independent, Green party, Communist party, what the fuck ever. Believe what you want to believe.

I am a registered independent so that I can get the fliers from both parties so that I feel that I am truly wanted at least once a year.

So on that note please men, women (especially women please go fucking vote.......

VOTE FOR ME if you have to but just fucking vote so that you do not act like a dumb bitch like this girl.

1 more thing If you hate the government go to China or North Korea maybe you will like that government better. Plus the lack of food and the abundance of disease you will be sure to shed that pesky 20 pounds..

Alright I must watch my step as I get off my soap box....later

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? PART 1

2006-10-05T22:06:00.000-04:00

I decided to start something new. We are all forced with decisions in life some that we do not want to be in the position to make. But we are.

So I decided that once a week or so I am going to give you the ultimate decision to make. Some days it will be easy some days it will be hard. But hey life is fucking hard. So Just deal with it. Fuck I can't hold your hand.....geeze

I will say this if I was put in the position to make this decision I might just drive off a cliff....no I would not. But you must pick one.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO???????????????????

Slide down a slide made of razor blades and into a tub of salt water

or

Vote Republican

Think carefully and answer honestly!!!!!!

PLEASE PARIS DO SOMETHING STUPID!!!!

2006-10-04T22:34:00.000-04:00

I came to the conclusion today that I have been very sensitive lately, well maybe not sensitive but more in touch with my feelings and the feelings of others.

I fucking hate it.

I need Paris to do something stupid so I can laugh and make fun of her. I need something to piss me off so bad that all that comes out of my mouth is foul language. I miss that DS.

Instead this is what I get:

Mets won!
Sex!
Raise at work!
Random Drug testing has stopped at work! (glad I got the raise..woo hoo)

I need good stuff to stop, or at least slow down a bit! Because you know what will happen. When all the good goes away, and fast, it will be a hard fall from on top to back where I belong.

I am not stating that I do not want good things to happen to me, but I want it in moderation not all at once that is a fucking recipe for disaster.

So I make a public appeal now to Paris Hilton, please fuck up or something so that I can point and laugh and then karma will even me out.

Someone out there just piss me off so I can bring some of the old DS out again and even me out.

Here is a list of possible things that might help me:

Someone cuts in front of me at the store and then takes 20 minutes to play there Lotto #'s (because obviously that is there 2nd job)

Paris cuts in front of me at the store and then takes 20 minutes to buy Natural Light Ice and Phillies blunts. (oh I wish)

Someone runs over my foot with the car

David Hasselhoff comes out to say that he is my real father...(mom what were you thinking)

Wait maybe that is it! I have to focus all my negative attention to David Hasselhoff and his new album........Must do research!!!!!!

Maybe some day I will finally get my shit together!!!!!!!!

Yeah probably not!

Later...........bam

THE HOLE I DIG MYSELF JUST SEEMS A LITTLE SMALL

2006-10-03T22:21:00.000-04:00

So let me make it bigger.. I am good at that. I have always been the type that digs a hole for themselves and I get out but I should learn from my mistakes.

No fuck that I guess it is some sick fun I have doing dumb shit over and over again. Oh well I have survived this long I will probably be that way for ever.

I had a friend the other day tell me that I seem to enjoy drama every once in a while in my life. If the drama is not around me every six months or so I create it. I guess all women at sometimes do that. I used to live knee deep in drama when I was in my early 20's. So I figure twice a year drama in my early 30's. Much improvement.

So this half of the years drama is PM. Why I even started back up with him I guess in reality I needed to get laid. Plain and simple. But I figured that doing it with him would be safe. Well it may be safe and familiar but let me tell you it is too fucked up. He still is the same fucker that dumped me for not wanting to be a housewife and baby maker. I mean what was I thinking.

I was up at maybe 4am on Saturday night and I was looking out the window at the rain and thought oh wow look at the rain.

I went back in the bedroom and there he was sleeping. I almost forgot about what I was doing. I had a fucking major reality check. I almost wanted to wake him up and tell him to go. I actually do not know why I did not do that. I should of. But for now I guess I am being selfish. I feel that is OK I do not feel bad about it.

Ummmm.....No not at all.

*****************************************

On another note. Playoffs start tonight and I want to say that I have been waiting a long time for the Mets. I have been a true fan since birth I want to at least give them this:

If you do not win the playoffs and go to the World Series that is OK. This is the one season that during regular play you did not make me cry.

GO METS

I will smell ya later!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT RAINS ALL WEEKED

2006-10-03T01:35:00.000-04:00

What a weird weekend I had it was bizarre and relaxing all at the same time.

First of all I was driving home Friday morning and it was pouring like a bitch outside. I come up over this hill and there was something in the road right in front of me. I really could not see what it was. I knew it was not and animal well an alive animal at least. So I figured that it was cardboard or something.

Boy was I fucking wrong. It was some very hard metal object that I had no way to avoid. So smash right over it. I busted up the exhaust system and something else that is causing me to leak oil. So that was a start to a great weekend. Try getting a garage to take your car on a Friday or Saturday. Of course not open on Sunday.

First appointment I could get was Friday Oct. 6th. Humm hope I do not blow it up by then, you would think that if you told them you are leaking oil they might try to help you out. Well that is what you get when you take a car to a garage that does not try to rip you off.

So all that aside I was a little angry and very tired so I went home and slept until like 4pm.

I was rudely awaken by the phone and I will tell you now I hate being woken by the phone. So I answer it, it was ex-bf PM. The conversation went something like this.

PM--Hey what is going on
Me--Sleeping
PM-- oh I woke you
Me--yes
PM--want me to call you back
Me--so you cane wake me up twice no
PM--I am sorry I was wondering if you will go to dinner with me
Me--Dinner?
PM--yeah
Me--I guess why?
PM--I want to see you
Me--Why?
PM--I kind of miss you
Me--You buying?
PM--of course
Me--see you at 7

See I knew that he would do that ask me some where so I decided to go to see what he said. To make a long story short he said he misses me and wants me back. I in a nut shell said, "so in 6 months we can break up again because I do not want what you want.

He says that any thing I want any way I want the relationship to go is my call. Fuck you bullshit. I knew that was crap the second it came out of his mouth.

I explained to him that I have moven on and I don't want children I do not want to marry you so why should we date again. He gave me the whole I love you no one else makes me feel blah blah blah bullshit.

I knew better I had the feeling that he was lonely. But I can't help his life. Not my job sorry. So he drops me off and we stood there on my back porch chating about stuff and he wanted to come in. AH I see where this is going for me. I know if I let him in it is over, I am however a woman that is a tad desperate herself but was it worth falling into the abyss. Hummm let me think.

I actually had to really think it over to come up with a rationale answer. What a fucking idiot I am. I say all that and then contemplate sleeping with him for my own selfish pleasure. With out ground rules I would be really doing something wrong.

I AM AN IDIOT!

PARANOIA WILL DESTROY YA!!!!!

2006-09-29T00:02:00.000-04:00

And so will obsession.

Yes I admit it sometimes I am a bit obsessive and other times I am the complete opposite. I always wondered why that was but again I will not obsess about it.

So after my 3am jaunt to the drug store where I saw ex-bf who we will call PM, I fell asleep and when I woke up I knew that it was going to be and OCD day. I could not stop thinking about the "call me" comment. I was more angry at myself for dwelling over it than anything. I thought over and over about all the shitty times we had then all the good times. I came to the conclusion that the relation ship was OK. Yeah I wasted 3 years on and OK relationship. Not great not awful but OK. After that the obsession was gone I figured it out.

Well I thought I did.

I got to work tonight and I open my email and there it was a fucking email from him. What the FUCK!!!!!!!!

I totally did not want this I wanted to be left alone not to be bothered by by this. But I was. Fucker!

So I opened it and it said:

hey..ds, it was real nice seeing you the other morning/night. Hope you are feeling better. When I get back in town Friday is it alright if I stop by. Well let me know. talk to you soon.

pm

What the FUCK! Stop by and see me for what? What an asshole! 3 years I gave to this guy and He dumped me because I did not want to get married and have a house full of kids. So fucking sue me. Now he is emailing me shit like this. I will never ever figure out the male brain.

Men think women are complicated I really think that sometimes it is men that are complicated well at least this one. Look if he wants to stop by for a little lovin that is one thing put it in the email. Like this:

hey ds, nice seeing you can I come over Friday when I get back and have sex with you.

that is a little more clear right. I guess I am just a girl that hates to complicate things. Well tomorrow is Friday, I emailed him back and say maybe you should call before stopping by. So that way I can gauge what is up on the phone. AWWWW see obsessing!!!I fucking hate this shit.

Alright I will update you tomorrow or sometime soon.

WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE MY LIFE EVEN CRAZIER THAN IT IS

2006-09-28T05:08:00.001-04:00

Sorry for no post yesterday, I was busy. But here it is in a nutshell:

Blah, blah, blah, cough cough, blah, sneeze, sneeze, blah blah , cough.

Very insightful huh! I knew you would think that.

But I do have one very interesting thing I would like to tell everyone out there that if you are looking for freaks at night, because that is when they come out. Go to a 24 hour pharmacy at like 3am. There are plenty to choose from.

I went to the local CVS at like 3am yesterday and I will tell you what a fucking trip that was. I walk in and there is a bum smelling the women's deodorants, why I fucking wish I knew. I b-line around him and go for the cough syrup.

Now that isle is busy at 3am for some reason, maybe people like me or maybe someone ran out of cough syrup and needs to make 1 more batch of meth for the night. I was sick so either way I really did not care.

As I stood there looking at all the cough stuff and getting more confused by the minute I all of a sudden hear my name.

Now mind you I was in ratty sweats all day and that is what I wore to the store, hair all slept on and shit. I know you know what I am talking about. I looked awesome.

So I turn my head to see who was calling my name.... I could not fucking believe it, It was my ex-boyfriend. I was like FUCK!!!! I am not supposed to look like this when I see him I am supposed to look stunning and rub it in you face good.

Me--So I was like Hi.
He-- was like are you sick.
Me--Ummm no I needed to finish up 1 more batch of methamphetamine for the night and you? HIM--Oh I had to come get something.
Me--At 3am
Him--Yeah I need to leave town in a few hours ......blah blah blah who care.
Me-- Well nice seeing you I need to go home and OD on Robitussin
Him--OK call me
Me--OK

What the fuck call him. I have not spoken to him In like I have no idea how many months why the fuck would I call. Some might read into that like he wants me back. But not me. Well I might of like 8 years ago, but not know I am strong. Well sometimes, I am guilty of drunk calling him for a while but that shit is over now.

So I go to pay for my cough syrup and due to some Federal regulations you have to sign some huge book and give them you drivers license so they check your ID. For Cough syrup. Unless I missed something this is the first for me.

So as I left the bum was now smelling the shampoos and I was trying to get the cap proof cap off the bottle. Those fuckers are sometimes hard.

As I drove home with a slight Robitussin buzz I was thinking about what ex-bf said then I realized that he was a fuck wad when we broke up and I should not dwell on the past.

Look to the future!!! I say even if it might involve a man that will shut my fingers in a car door every so often. As long as the lovin' is good I might be able to over look that!!!!!!!!!

Alright gotta split

I WANT TO KNOW WHY?

2006-09-26T01:53:00.000-04:00

You all have to read this story. Obviously the title caught my eye!

I just have a few questions about this bizarre story!!

1. Who's bear is it that killed all the trout.
2. Do they even sell Paddington Bears anymore. I mean It might be a little more easy to swallow if it was tickle me Elmo or some shit.
3. What Kid with a Teddy bear is hanging out at a fish hatchery. I have seen a fish hatchery not all that exciting.
4. Why did all those trout have to die, when in reality they were probably slated to be dumped in some pond or lake so someone can hook its lip with a metal barb and then let it breath to death on the bottom of the boat.

So maybe this story was not all that bad. That kid with the teddy bear will some day grow up to be the next Dr. Kevorkian. Well maybe not these were after all just 2,500 trout.

***********
On another note:

And yeah I have a case of the Mondays today and it is Tuesday. This week is going to suck. Everyone here has left there germs here for me to breath in all night and now I am getting sick. Fuckers. Leave the germs home with your kids where they came from. Fuck every year just about this time all the people around here get sick. Humm maybe because the grubby handed kids that they have bring home germs off a water fountain that has been licked 500 times since the first day of school. Then the kid kiss the parents then the parents come and talk to me all the time spreading their germs all over my desk. Fuckers!!!!!!!!!

Alright bye

JERRY LEWIS IS TO FRANCE AS WHAT I AM TO ESTONIA

2006-09-24T01:12:00.000-04:00

I love the Estonians. Just checking on a night that I should be passed out drunk!!!!

Yes I am drunk.....

I just want to say that my wireless company sucks they closed down the store down the road nowI have to go like fucking 5000 miles to pay a fucking bill.

Assholes.

Well lets see who wins this game, it will not be me!

So I have to drive way too many miles to pay a bill. unless I do it online.

I hate paying shit online. after that Estonian stole my Identity and jacked up my credit card with porn.

But I am over that!!!!!!!!

alright Eating --Beer--Bed---BUY

CAN IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS???....I DO NOT THINK SO!

2006-09-22T00:57:00.000-04:00

Unless I have been living under a rock for a while I discovered the most amazing thing. That bitch Betty Crocker has come up with it again. She has yet again made me even lazier than normal.

Now most everyone has made or has eaten Hamburger Helper/Chicken Helper or whatever. Not the most substantial meal but it makes due. Betty Crocker is no Emeril but who is?

Now it comes in Microwavable single serving packets. how great is that. Well not all that exciting. It still is way to salty and who can trust meat that does not have to be refrigerated. But when hungry it is perfect.

Hell this world is awesome for the fact that we can microwave just about anything. I remember when my family got our first microwave. It was almost the size of the garage and I still think that is what killed our cat.

Now I they make them the size of a toaster!! I love progress.

Most major inventions in the last 40 years have been made by women---Post It notes, invented by a woman.

So I am pretty sure that a woman came up with the idea of the microwave. I have no proof but I have a strong feeling!!!!

Alright gots to bolt--

ATTENTION!!!!!

2006-09-21T00:01:00.000-04:00

I realized that this world is filled with some very sensitive people. I believe that every person is sensitive but the degrees now that varies. Some overly sensitive people some not so much. I am, like millions of Americans somewhere in the middle.

Well recently it has come to my attention that I might have offended someone with a post that I had written. For that I could apologize and explain the reasoning behind the offense.

But I wont.

I write on this blog so that I can release frustration when I am angry, and share good shit when I am happy. I might use words that are not suited for the entire family. That is just me. I can't change who I am.

I am not a person that hates anyone I really love most people ?(Rachel Ray, Celion Dion..to name a few I hate) So when I say stuff on this blog I have no regret. Most of the stuff I would probably say to their face minus most of the swearing. (I said most)

So I will put this as a disclaimer.........I write for me and I say what I want to say, If by any way I have offended you by the content herein I some what apologize.

I really can't apologize for what I say because it was already said. I will say that I will not censor my thought process so some of my words might not suit everyone. I will apologize for that. But I will not change. I am really not a bad person.....I swear.....I would save a kitten, catch a baby.....you know shit like that.

Maybe I will institute ratings on each post like for TV. Ummm yeah fuck that!

So I will close with this "people lighten up it is the Internet!!!!!"

EWWW..NASTY BUT FUNNY

2006-09-20T02:00:00.000-04:00

I was checking our my extreme tracker thingy on the side the other day, to see who all my awesome visitors were.

I have the typical ones like my loyal following in Estonia. Estonia rocks. Someone from Wisconsin.....Hello Wisconsin. Few from around the US, and a few from Canada and England But there was one there that was very new to me. I could not even figure out what flag it was.

So I click on it. It was Iran. Ok no problem right. Well a little problem but I was letting it go because that is the type of bitch I am.

So I looked in a little farther and realized that he/she found me from a Google search.

Well you might be wondering at this point what the fuck is she going on about. Well here it is....

Iran was goggling "fucking screen savers". I am assuming some sort of screen saver with people fucking or that he/she was very angry about a screen saver. Whatever.

Well it some how brings this person to my site here, where I do not offer Screen savers and or Fucking.

I realized that in a few posts back I was bitching about a co-workers retarded fucking screen saver. Google took that and ran with it I suppose. Whatever. Thank god this person was not looking for mentally handicapped people fucking for a screen saver that would be a little more disturbing.

This brings me to a few points, who wants a screen saver of people "fucking" well I am sure their are a few out there hope this person lives alone., and how disappointed was he/she when they were redirected to my site. One thing too, be a little more specific in your search and you will not waste your time reading my shit.

Soon I might just offer these services but for now, just the dumb shit that can come up with while trying to avoid doing work.

While I appreciate all readers of this little blog there is No free porn here. Sorry. But enough requests, this could change. But believe me it will NOT be free.

Alright so If you are redirected to this blog by mistake because of my over usage of the word fuck and variations of that I am truly sorry. But check back in a few months.

Alright gots to go!

WHAT THE PUCK HAPPENED TO DAYTIME

2006-09-19T00:51:00.000-04:00

Most people get all excited in the fall because the new prime time shows premiere. I like that but I can never see them right away I have to TiVo them. Hopefully watch then in like 3 days.

The one thing I do watch is lots of morning and daytime TV. I know, I know that really fucking sucks.

Especially this fall.

Alright I do love Meredith on the TODAY show, still hate Matt and Al. That is the extent of my love.

Here is a list of what I hate and why:

Rosie on the View, actually the View. Why you ask, because it is Rosie O'Donnell, she is a loud mouth say nothing pain in the ASS. I could care less that she is gay, I could care less if she has 400 adopted children. Stop talking loud over people and having absolutely nothing to say. Plus like her old show now the View gives out prizes to the audience every fucking day, so we have to listen to them clap for 5 minutes because they got a trip on Roies gay cruise (gay or not).

Thumbs DOWN on Rosie on the View.

Dr. Keith, I do not know why they cancelled Dr. Phil and put on Dr. Keith they both suck and I hate it when Dr.'s want you to call them by their first name, but put Dr. in front of it. Dr. Keith talks about the same things that Dr. Phil did but he has no weird southern accent. Watch it for like 10 minutes and was disgusted.

Dr. Phil, always hated him and his little sayings. But now he puts camera in his victims, I mean guests, no I mean guinea pigs houses. When the family are fighting or some shit Dr. Phil gets in his car drives over there and talks the problem out. If I was arguing with my husband in the privacy of my own living room and Dr. Phil showed up I would probably shoot him. Yeah probably.

Megan Maloly, you know her she plaid Karen on Will and Grace....Really have not seen it yet but I really do not think she is talk show type. Prove me WRONG MEGAN!!!!!Or don't

Last but definitely not least

Rachel FUCKING Ray, this bitch I hate almost as much as Paris Hilton. I said Almost. First of all I hated her when she had 30 Minute meals. I watched that show and never ever could I make what she made in 30 minutes the drive to the store to buy EVOO would be 20 at least. I fucking really hate it when She says EVOO. It sends a chill up my spine. Just say Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Please for the love of god. Also she fucking yells all the time. I want to sit her down and explain to her that you DO have a microphone on. You are not cooking outside next to a dump truck so why do you have to yell ALL the time. Plus she has a garbarage bowl. This is the bowl while she is cooking that she throws her garbarage in. I wonder what is wrong with a garbarage can on the floor. It might be me but I do not want to see trash on the counter while I am cooking, even if it is in a bowl.

The worst part about her is that she grew up around here so every fucking local business has Rachel Ray doing some sort of commercial. Now the way I figure it she is not much older than me and she lived one town over. I am sure that I can find someone that knows her well. Track her down and shake her a few times. Not hurt her just shake her up a bit.

I still watch some good things but I am just very unhappy with Talk shows today.

Alright I got go.

PS. This is for the my awesome readers from Estonia.....If you do not know who Rachel Ray is and you do not get her on TV.......can I move in with you. I am willing to move just to get away from her.

CHIMING IN ON SURVIVOR---

2006-09-15T04:38:00.000-04:00

I usually do not really watch Survivor ever since the first season. The show always made me want rice I do not know. Well everyone is up in arms over the fact that this seasons show is divivded by race.

I wonder who really gives a fuck.

People are still going to tune in and watch. Probably more this season than ever. See that was the idea that CBS had. Hello controversy equal ratings.

One more thing. It is a fucking game show in reality. Now you tell me one game show that has not already pitted races against each other. It is like an every day occurrence on Family Fued.

So CBS has just pushed the envelope big deal. This is media making something out of nothing.

So there are different tribes living on different parts of the island with people of their own race. Sounds like any major city in the whole US to me.

Then they will merge tribes and live happily ever after. This is what would be the suburbs.

See this is nothing new. It is not like the tribe made up of African Americans is made to pick cotton.............The Tribe made up of Asians are not made to pick rice..........And the Tribe made up of Caucasians are not made to pick wall swatches.

So to me I see no big deal.

I did not watch it but I am sure it will be on the news or something this morning.

Alright later

I PROBABLY DESERVE IT....YEAH I KNOW I DO

2006-09-15T01:29:00.000-04:00

Today I come into work.....On time mind you. And my boss is standing there waiting for me. Ususally this is no big deal but for some reason I knew today would be a bit different.

So I kindly say.....What's up? All nice and shit I swear

He begins to explain to me that my #'s are way down from 2 weeks ago. And kept babbling on on how much they rely on my #'s.

I was so fucking pissed....

1. I do not give a fuck about my #'s. I get all the work done that is here.
2. I have 2 count them 2 broken fingers. So things might not get done as fast but they get done.

I explain to him that with my broken fingers typing is a struggle and as soon as they get better this will probably not even be an issue.

What the fuck does he want from me? What a bald stupid homosexual buck tooth jerk off who is fucking one of his employees.

He said that I must try harder......Hum try harder to heal!!! Fuck if I could use my mind like that I would not be working for your dumb ass I would be doing 3 nights a week in some show room in Vegas healing broken legs and polio.

So I was not so polite to him when I mention that even though it may look like my #'s are down...It is really that business is down. Might have to do something with Part D Medicare billing not letting any one reciveve meds so maybe my #'s are down due to legislation and maybe you should call you local senator for Part D reform.

OOPS wring thing to say I was taken to the side and "talked" to about my attitude.

Like I give a FUCK about my attitude. Little does that little maggot not know is that I work 65 hours a week for his faggot ass while he is busy banging the secretary.

FUCK you and my attitude..........Prick!!

I am feeling much better. Thanks for asking but I will probably be un invited to the Christmas Party. Oh well I will have to make due with out seeing his dumb ass while drinking probably for the best.

See the thing is I do not have time for his bull shit I have to get the broken fingers better due to the fact that I could possibly run in to Paris Hilton some day and I want both hands available for choking.

Like clothes at a nudist colony I am off!!

NOW THAT IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO

2006-09-13T23:17:00.000-04:00

Meet my retirement car. She may not go fast but that just lets people get a good look at her. I might have to retrofit some snow tires on it but other than that she will be good to go. Maybe some nice rims too.

Or maybe I will retire in warm weather.

I have no idea why I am thinking about retirement. Maybe wishful thinking.

But I do know I have a sweet ride when I get there. Can't you see me in a nice gated community on the West Coast of Florida riding around getting in everyone's business.

All the time a cooler full of cold Miller in the back. Fuck yeah I can. Fit it for a cup holder, put a nice stereo system so when I am old I can listen to the music of my youth. For instance Pearl Jam, Alice and Chains, Nine Inch Nails. You know old people music.

Taking it to the buffet for the early bid special at like 2pm so I can get home to watch Jeopardy. I wonder if Alec Trebek will be alive then. HUMM

Lets compare:
Me age 5 (or somewhere around there) Grandma Age 5 (on left)

Yeah I rock Much more sorry Grandma! That picture Grandma looks a little retarded and why is she at a children's home.. I will have to ask Mom about that! I thought she was Catholic. Granma has a lot of explaining to do!!!!

See me freezing to death at age 5 or however old I was. Skiing in a red coat that was probably a hand me down from my brother. Actually this could be a picture of him I have no idea any more.

When bundled up in the snow suits or big jackets all kids look alike. I hated skiing!

Alright no that I covered youth to retirement......Like a dress on Prom Night I am OFF

******************UPDATE********************

That is not a picture of my Grandma after all it is my mothers cousin Patty. Apparently she was retarted and sent to a Baptist Childrens home. OOPS my bad

AM I GOING TO MAKE IT......PROBABLY NOT

2006-09-13T00:41:00.000-04:00

Here in Upstate New York this time of year is different. The second Labor day is over you have to pull out the sweaters and put away the tank tops.

To me this fucking sucks.. I have tried to live other places where this would not be the norm.

Florida.....Made it one year and realized that it is inhuman to be that humid. I sort of think that is what hell is like.

California....Fucking loved it but 1....tooo expensive 2....People move at one pace and that is not as fast as me.

Kansas....Do not even get me started on Kansas.

So I have moved from one part of the country trying to find the best weather and I have realized that no matter where you go It will suck at some point.

The one thing I hate about upstate NY is the stupid fuckers from Jersey, Westchester and shit like that that come up to see the leaves change.

We call them peepers.

Well they should be called drive 2 fucking miles an hour breaking every 5 feet just to see a dead leaf.

I get why they do It the trees really look pretty. But I think it is some what depressing. Due to the fact that once the trees look pretty with all their Fall colors.

Those fucking leaves fall all over the place where you spend half of a some what warm day out side getting blisters on your hand from raking them up (of course you pray all day that the fucking wind does not kick up and blow them all back into the yard) Then after that the entire neighborhood looks like something after agent orange has been dropped. A tree with no leaves is not a pretty site.

So I just want to clarify I hate winter.

Oh another thing living in The Adirondacks like I do I just want to point out to anyone that comes up here this time of year for "peeping" of the leaves. Feel free to stop by one of the many Adirondack furniture stores that sell extremely high priced furniture...

I am talking a wood bed frame made by hand....Big deal....that shit goes for like $10,ooo, Armoires for like $20,000.
ummmmm......fuck no I am happy with my bed frame that comes free with the bed and I have no idea why I would need an armoire.

So to sell the fall in the Adirondacks is a fucking tough nut.

I do love a few things about fall....

Apple cider doughnuts----Baseball playoffs----New shows on TV----and my cat stops shedding...Well at least until I turn the heat on then it starts all over again.

ARRRR fucking heat bills. Alright I will stop my bitching now and chime in on high priced heating fuel cost at a later date

TIME FOR A MOMENT

2006-09-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

Just like to post a second about something that changed my life. Now I know a lot of people are posting about 911 but this one is from me.

I know where I was that day I was close.

I know if I did not miss that train that day I would have been closer.....Thank you god for the alarm fucking up that morning.

I was what a 100 feet under ground. Of where it all happened. On the same train that I missed almost an hour before.

Well I will tell you one thing that my job was good but 2 weeks later I got a transfer. Back up near Home Sweet Home.

I lost a lot of friends that day. Some of them I still tear up about....

Helen....The receptionist........Bitch you were the bomb on the 53rd floor........................

Carl........dude you were the man..

Seth........I will be wit you someday to have a smoke with

Beth......God needed a pure soul when he took you

They may have not been close friends but they were friends none the less. I will never forget them or that day.

God must of needed a lot of people that day. I just know that I was stuck underground for like an hour...... Thank you....

When I got up on top I wish I was back down below.

because as the shit was unfolding I had no idea. I somehow made it back to Brooklyn and went home and cried to realize that I could have been there.

See I had no idea who was gone, who had made it. It took me like a week to find that out.

So of course we had many days in between where I was wondering and hoping that they were all still there.

SO>>>>>>.on the 5th anniversary I will give it up to all that died.....

Give it up to the Fireman, police and people that perished

And most of all give it up to my cheap ass alarm clock for whom I would have never been able to write this..............

All in all I thank god and everyone for not forgetting

911 NEVER FORGET

I NEVER EVEN GOT A DWI

2006-09-07T23:46:00.000-04:00

If you have not heard yet but today was a great day. It all started out when I coming home for work and turned on the TODAY show. I found out that my nemesis Paris Hilton got a DWI.

That made for a great morning. I was watching the TV and she was driving her Mercedes all crazy like with Rod Stewerts daughter. Gets pulled over and fails a sobriety test.

In her defense she only had 1 Margarita. That would be great if the bitch did not weigh 40 pounds. She might of been able to handle it if she had some weight on those bones.

She must of been driving erratically because she dropped her hot crack pipe in her lap....Ouch.

Well this is a good thing maybe she will get community service.....Because you know she wont go to jail. Then with the community service she might do one fucking thing in her life for someone else.

Maybe they will have the Simple Life----Cell Block C. That would be funny. She would definitely get her a girl friend.

Does this mean that Nicole Ritchie will be arrested for being a total retard....Can they arrest people for that....I guess not or their would be a lot of people in jail.

Yeah all in all a good day.

Alright back to work

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!!!!

2006-09-06T22:46:00.000-04:00

Well what a holiday weekend I had I mean wow. 5 days off and accomplished absolutely nothing. (well.....No that does not count)

I will tell you on thing I broke 2 fucking fingers getting them slammed in a car door. What a fucking idiot I am. I broke the pinkie and ring finger on right hand. Not to mention they had to cut the ring off my finger and I seriously liked that ring but maybe it can be fixed....Whatever.

I will say this that the pain was minimal due to the over flow of draft beer that night. Plus the person that "shut the door" was a cutie so I could not be mad at him I was trying to hang with him.

Yet another date gone sour..........They say that 3rd time is a charm.

So work here and typing here is some what a little slowed but only for 4-6 weeks, but I am managing best I can. This time I scored some LORTAB......Hell yeah no pain here.

I was having a good time with yet another blind date. This time it just went and pulled a U turn on me. Oh well I got flowers and an apology voice mail.

So I will try to go out with him again this time wear full suit of armor.

Went to the track and won some money not a lot but enough for dinner and beers with some friends afterwards.

Oh yeah while I was taking my 7 hour nap yesterday I was stupid enough to answer the phone and half sleeping and half listening to a story of a friend that was at some horse farm.

Now you find the one major whole in this story..............

According to the story she was at a horse farm with some children and their parents, now she has no children and she is mentally crazy......Diagnosed mental.

Why was she there.............I do not know.

While showing the children this horse, the horse was getting all upset.

Why did she show children a pissed off angry horse............I do not know, I believe the horse wanted to get away from crazy, you know sensed a vibe.

When explaining to the children how to take care of a horse, like brush it and shit the horse started trying to bit her

2 part question....Why was she showing the children that she has never taken care of a horse in her life, and why if it was biting at her she would just not let it go..........I do not know.

Here is the part of the story I really do not get.............................

According to sources the horse turned around in front of the children and bit her on the boob...Ouch. Which cause major bleeding, probably scaring all the children for life.

According to sources the horse bit the nipple clean off. So when they stiched her up there was no nipple.

2 part question here.........Is that even possible and where does the nipple go.

Did they just throw it away. I mean I have grew up around horses and I have been bit but to bite the nipple clean off...What the FUCK!!!!!!!!

I mean of course the person telling me the story was coming up with all scenarios on what to do with the nipple. But I would think they could just sew the fucking thing back on.

So after I got off the phone I wondered what the fuck was that so I called the person back 10 minutes later and asked them if they were fucking with me. Apparently no I say the gird that this happened to today on my way to work and she validated the whole thing.

Christ that makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it!

Alright alright back to work!

AYE YO FATHER CARMINE

2006-09-01T01:25:00.000-04:00

Tonight is not working out like the night I had last night. One fucking thing after another just makes me want a shot and a beer. Does not have to be in that order.

Here is what shitty thing that happened to me tonight:

1. Bit my tongue eating a salad....Whoever said vegetables were good for you....Especially when you have Italian dressing burning the wound.

2. Got yelled at by Harry Wong for some stupid computer thing I broke. What do I care I was leaving. And now you cant say Harry without saying Wong that would just be inappropriate.

3. Forgot sweatshirt, because as you know I work in a freezer.

4. I can see my breath when I go outside. And inside for that matter.

5. Some asshole left his computer on in his office next to me, with the door locked, with some retarded fucking Screen saver that plays Daniel by Elton John. I never got that song nor do I now that it has played 50 fucking times.

6. Fucking HR did not put my fucking raise in my Fucking check because the are plain retarded.

7. My boss pretty much told me I have to work overnights by my self for the rest of my fucking life...Well or until I go postal on her ass and end up in jail.....Well at least in jail you get better health coverage.

8. My favorite bathroom here is broken so I have to use the gross bathroom...Smells like feet in there.

9. Found out that the soda machine was sold out of Diet Pepsi after I put my $1.25 in there.....So I ended up with a caffeine free, sugar free, taste free diet Sprite......Why even make that I mean what is the fucking point.

10. Apparently it is frowned upon that when filling out the Christmas party survey, when filling out the sex part do not enter "does that come with the meal of does that cost extra."...... Because apparently the woman who actually reads those things gets offended.....Who knew anyone read them, and for that matter It is September I am not thinking about Christmas just yet.

There actually a few highlights though.....I found out that the hot dude with the nice ass is NOT gay. If you can believe it I though he was gay from day 1 you should see this guys nails..Perfect.

So now I have to try to buddy up to him for the whole hour a night that he sits behind me............Behind me that sucks no good ways to flirt with you back.....If there is please, please let me know.

I am on vacation yet AGAIN for the next 5 days. I have nothing that I have to do like family vacations so it is Frigin Sweet.

I found the key to the candy machine.....Hell yeah free candy.

So I suppose that today was mixed but I want every day to be awesome. But I am living on the planet Earth so I know damn well that will never happen.

Alright back to work!!!!!!!

CITY SECURITIES

2006-08-31T01:35:00.000-04:00

Today is the only day that I have loved my job in like 8 years.....

Why you ask well I will be glad to tell you. First of all most of the time my job is just stupid. I make good money to be awake all night and do some busy work. Most of the people here are real assholes so I am glad that I work alone at night.

But today Wednesday, Hump day was the best day of the Week!

First things first this is a fairly large medical company that makes a ton of money and never hires anyone.

So for the first time in like 3 years they hired a tech support guy. That is great because I have to slam the mouse like 40 times a day to get it to work.....Maybe me slamming it is what broke it in the first place.....No

So I see him today he is an older Chinese/Japanese.....Asian that is it. Probably like 50 or so. I knew his last name was Wong because his office door says H. Wong (Technical)

I only have spoken to him like 3 times and he speaks with a broken accent, just passing by conversations like hi and how are ya. People tell me he just moved here like a year ago. Not a big deal to me. I just waste to know if he can make a mean egg roll and if he can hook me up.

So Mr. Wong, that is what I call him and my 7th grade mentality makes me giggle every time, called me at home today and asked if I could come in early so he could show me a new security system. I said sure then showed up 45 minutes late....Oops

So I get there so Mr. Wong, hehe, can explain the new security system....By the way here is a plug to City Securities.....You will see.

He begins that this is a City Securities system.....If you can imagine an Asian with minimal command of the English language say City it sounds and awful lot like shitty. So I know this was going to be real fun. Like the guy on South Park that runs the Chinese food place call City Wok.

See immaturity is a passion of mine and I love to embrace it any chance I can.

Well that made me try to get Mr. Wong to say city as much as I possibly could...hehe

"Now Mr. Wong what if the system does not turn off as expected?"

Mr. Wong "Call City Securities"------hehehehe

"Mr. Wong is this a good security company?"

Mr. Wong "City securities, It is the best around"

After like the 4oth time I have had my fun and started to let it go. Then to my delight the gods of humor smile down on me for one brief moment......

Mr. Wong got a call on his cell phone.........................................

As he takes it from his holder and opens it up and hastily says his full name......Now I know you might think that I am kidding but I swear to all that is Funny that his name is really Harry Wong.

I stood there for a second and looked around for anyone who just heard what he said.....Fuck no one did I imagine it was I that juvenile that I would manifest that this guys name was Harry Wong.

Almost peeing my pants I stood there straight faced just wanting to go........Any where but there.

Now this is how I see it. If you are from China how many Harrys are really walking around. Not many I bet. So you decide to come to America... That is just fine with me. But you take a name that is Chinese and try to make it American....Again no problem.

But Harry Wong didn't someone tell him. I mean Harold, Jim, Stan something other than Harry. I mean what was the rationale there.

So Mr. Wong finishes his speech and says "Any question?"

I said "No Mr. Wong"

He said "No call me Harry, we friends now"

I said "Ok Mr. Wong"

I love making new friends, I love meeting new people......I can say that I have almost seen it all, until Harry Wong was on a girls computer next to my desk and found out what she has been looking up......Yes that is right she was caught looking up the secrets of the Female orgasm.

Now even more funny is the Harry Wong found secrets of the female orgasm.

I honestly did not know it was a secret.

It is almost not even real like I over slept and the first 3 hours of the day was a dream. But I tell you this all is true I wish I could make shit like this up.

Back to work so I can break something so a Harry Wong can fix it. Some might say that Harry Wong can fix any problem.