I LIKE A GOOD PARTY!
I of all people love a good party. I like the socializing, the boozing, the dancing what have you.
There are a few parties that I try to avoid at all costs. Some I can't some, I have to go to.
Party type #1....Pampered Chef, I hate these parties. No booze, no dancing, no socializing unless it is about the new hand blender that I could buy. Yeah fuck that, I would have to sell a kidney to buy an over priced spoon from them.
Party type #2....Candle parties, yeah I know it could of gone with the Pampered Chef one but it is not. Candle parties are a complete waste of time. To me most candles are the same. OK different colors, different smells, oh fuck that one has 3 wicks, as opposed to the 1 that I am used to. Where have I been, a candle with 3 wicks must be better than a candle with 1 wick. It must be much more technically advanced. Fuck that it is a candle.
Party type #3....A 1 year old birthday. Do not get me wrong I like kids. But if you are not the Parents you will not enjoy this. I am pretty sure that the 1 year old does not even know what the fuck is going on. Plus I never know what to buy for a 1 year old.
Party type #4....A 100Th birthday. Almost the same as the 1 year old, both have to do with no memory of the occasion, diapers and some drooling. But these typically have booze.
Party type #5.....The Company Christmas Party. I hate these the most. First of all I really do not like 75% of my co workers. The 25% I do are probably not going. The 75% that are, I probably should not drink around. Might be some words ya know. If there is dancing it is your boss that dances like the worst of all white bald dudes. And when you see Amy the 300lb receptionist doing the electric slide. Time to go.
So when all of you out there, like me, are forced to go to the Christmas party for your company this year. Remember I will probably be getting drunk in the corner with the janitor.
Tis the Season To Problem Drink
There are a few parties that I try to avoid at all costs. Some I can't some, I have to go to.
Party type #1....Pampered Chef, I hate these parties. No booze, no dancing, no socializing unless it is about the new hand blender that I could buy. Yeah fuck that, I would have to sell a kidney to buy an over priced spoon from them.
Party type #2....Candle parties, yeah I know it could of gone with the Pampered Chef one but it is not. Candle parties are a complete waste of time. To me most candles are the same. OK different colors, different smells, oh fuck that one has 3 wicks, as opposed to the 1 that I am used to. Where have I been, a candle with 3 wicks must be better than a candle with 1 wick. It must be much more technically advanced. Fuck that it is a candle.
Party type #3....A 1 year old birthday. Do not get me wrong I like kids. But if you are not the Parents you will not enjoy this. I am pretty sure that the 1 year old does not even know what the fuck is going on. Plus I never know what to buy for a 1 year old.
Party type #4....A 100Th birthday. Almost the same as the 1 year old, both have to do with no memory of the occasion, diapers and some drooling. But these typically have booze.
Party type #5.....The Company Christmas Party. I hate these the most. First of all I really do not like 75% of my co workers. The 25% I do are probably not going. The 75% that are, I probably should not drink around. Might be some words ya know. If there is dancing it is your boss that dances like the worst of all white bald dudes. And when you see Amy the 300lb receptionist doing the electric slide. Time to go.
So when all of you out there, like me, are forced to go to the Christmas party for your company this year. Remember I will probably be getting drunk in the corner with the janitor.
Tis the Season To Problem Drink
posted by DS at 11:00 PM
8 Comments:
So funny, so true! I had my Christmas party Saturday night and had a few regrets on Sunday morning.
Our party is a luncheon, so you get to booze during the afternoon and stumble home while it's still light out. No dancing, which is good because dancing can be very very scary.
Our is a luncheon too, at a fancy schmancy restaurant and everyone gets drunk. Its really interesting to see your totally straight-laced boss get hammered. I hate office parties....I am the only young one there so it can be pretty lame....they all talk legal crap during the meal.
I actually enjoy all of those other types of parties....especially pampered chef. I'm a total sucker for awesome kitchen gadgets. I've only been out on my own for two months but I've bought from pampered chef for years.
Honey, you just haven't been to the right Pampered Chef parties! We get loaded at ours! :)
I totally agree with you on the others, though. SOOOO looking forward to my work christmas party next weekend. Arg.
Can you get me Amy's number? I like a little extra cushion for a-pushin'...
cb---regrets keep us real
s--yes I will agree some dancing is only for mature audiences
csr---my boss is a jerk that is why I get hammered
tammy---I need to go to one of your Pampered chef parties I guess
dyck---i will get it for you I heard that she is easy too! perfect for you right
I''ve been on strike from our company christmas party for the last five years. I have absolutly no desire to leave work and then come back to a different location, just to see their faces again... even if there is liquor involved.
After entirely too many years, I've finally decided that from here on out I will boycott any Pampered Chef, candle, jewelry, gourmet food, Mary Kay, Tupperware, crafty crap and sex toy party to which I'm ever invited.
I've been to some that have booze, some that don't. It doesn't matter one way or another, because I can't drink enough to make them fun.
Friends don't invite friends to parties to buy overpriced crap.
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