TIS THE SEASON PART 2

Here we are again in the festive month of the year for many. But there is one thing that always bothers me around this holiday and that is what to get for people.

I say no presents for anyone. But you can't so you fucking stress the fuck out over what to get who and weather you should go to this store or that store. Credit card or cash. Paper or fucking plastic.

That could be another good reason as why people get hammered so much this time of year.

I have a great solution to all this stress. It is a miracle, it is wonderful it is practical it is grand.

It is RE-GIFTING

The greatest idea ever. Well maybe not for the economy but for mental health perfect for me.
For re-gifting virgins out there. Re-gifting is the ART of taking all the fucked up crap that someone has given you over the years and giving it to someone else.

I call it an art due to the fact you just can't pick up some overly scratched ENYA CD and wrap it up and put a bow on it. Might of worked at 5 but not now. That is why all presents that are given to me that have absolutely no real practical value to me get put in a box in the closet.

When I am going to a Christmas party and ..... oops I forgot to pick up something for so and so. Go to the Box. When I forgot Secret Santa at work.......go to the box. When my boyfriends mother all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Eve......go to the box.

Saved my ass a million times.

For some not so savvy as to have that magic box.....(hehe) I have a list of bad re-gifters and a few tips:

1. Any already worn clothing.......with stains on it.
2. Used sex toys......if you do not still have the box it is yours for life
3. Do not give someone the same gift as they gave you last year....makes for some shit.
4. Canned goods.....especially corn
5. When presenting a regifted present in a gift bag. Make sure the tag on it does not have your name on it. Dead giveaway
6. Expired movie tickets....you can never get away with the excuse "that is how they sold it to me"
7. Bath gift baskets and you know the person lives in a small apartment with a stall shower.
8. Never give candy to someone that is a diabetic....unless you like to see someone slip in to insulin shock right in front of you.
9. Shoes that you never worn to someone with feet 3 sizes larger....dead giveaway
10. A book is a good gift but make sure that person can read.

So there are a few tips that might help you round out you re-gifter shopping list.

Remember it is not a sin to re-gift it is a sin to be a shitty re-gifter.

I have been recipient of some real bad gifts through the years. So this is pay back.

I have a had a fruit cake that some one gave me in a Secret Santa 3 years ago. Obviously that person forgot about Secret Santa. Big fuck. But who gives any one a Fruit Cake. It has been in the trunk of my car. I will be giving that to I believe my boyfriend's mother if she arrives UN planned this year.......do not fuck with people during the holidays it can be bad very bad.