CHECK LIST FOR TODAY OF WHAT NOT TO DO
18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL (Liberal: A modern day misnomer. Actually, yesterday's liberals are today's centrists, while today's liberals are yesterday's leftists.)
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support partial birth abortion.
2. You have to believe that business creates oppression and government creates prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of terrorists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected bynature's cyclical changes, and more by soccer moms, driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but homosexuality is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spre ad by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that a college educated and certified 4th grade teacher knows less about running her class than a strung-out, dropout mother.
9. You have to believe that the life of a monkey in medical research is more important than the life of a child in intensive care.
10. You have to believe that government-bestowed privileges are more important than sweating to earn them.
11. You have to believe that Christianity is a right-wing crutch, but Islam is simply misunderstood.
12. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Malcom-X and Jane Fonda are moreimportant to American history than George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
15. You have to believ e that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't workedanywhere it has been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades are constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas are illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.GOD BLESS AMERICA! (Oops, can't do that either.)
FUCK ROSIE O'DONNELL YOU LOUD MOUTH BITCH
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support partial birth abortion.
2. You have to believe that business creates oppression and government creates prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of terrorists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected bynature's cyclical changes, and more by soccer moms, driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but homosexuality is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spre ad by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that a college educated and certified 4th grade teacher knows less about running her class than a strung-out, dropout mother.
9. You have to believe that the life of a monkey in medical research is more important than the life of a child in intensive care.
10. You have to believe that government-bestowed privileges are more important than sweating to earn them.
11. You have to believe that Christianity is a right-wing crutch, but Islam is simply misunderstood.
12. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Malcom-X and Jane Fonda are moreimportant to American history than George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
15. You have to believ e that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't workedanywhere it has been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades are constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas are illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.GOD BLESS AMERICA! (Oops, can't do that either.)
FUCK ROSIE O'DONNELL YOU LOUD MOUTH BITCH
posted by DS at 3:51 AM
2 Comments:
I love this. You are amazing.
What did Rosie O'Donnell do now? I can't really keep up with her bigotry and ignorance these days.
This was really funny. Loved it. Keep it up DS!
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