CALL THE POLICE I HAVE BEEN ROBBED

While out yesterday shopping for some new jeans...Why you ask was I buying new jeans.....

Simple my old ones did not fit right anymore. See since it is summer I lose like 15 pounds just to put that 15 back on in the dead of winter. Any way I like buying jeans now because they will be the smallest pair I buy all year.

Well any way I realized that when I was trying jeans on at the store none of them were fitting right.. WHAT cant even buy a pair of jeans that fit right I thought well maybe it is the cut so I try on like 10 pair of jeans and with no luck nothing fits tight.

Fits good in the waist, alright in the length, perfect on the hips......What is missing I say?

Well thanks to a sale woman she blantently pointed out that I have no ASS.

I was like excuse me she said you have no ass that is why they are not fitting right. I was like well I was pretty sure that I had an ass this morning and ignored here and went home.

Standing in the mirror I realized that she was right. This year weight sway made my gluteus maximus into a gluteus minimus.

I was freaking the fuck out. I mean I have a butt......But it is way small. Never in my life I almost cried.

I wondered how this happened I mean my weight goes up and down 10-15 pounds a year but pretty much stays at what it is. SO why the ass why this year.

My question was soon answered as I went to my mothers house to steal the newspaper. She was all dressed for work in a nice suit pant thing and now that I have become obsessed with my ass I ask her.....

me--Mom do I have a butt?

mom--No

me --mom a little sensitivity please

mom--its a family trait look.....

me--never noticed that my mom has no ASS

then she proceeded to point out people in the family that have to ass......

I was mortified. I wondered why now why lose it now. Mother said she had a nice but up until 35 then it just went away.

35!!!!!!!I am only 31 I lost my ass and 4 years of to boot.

Well I went home to cry......Then I thought maybe some exercise regime might work then I remembered I hate working out.

Then I realized that having no ass was alright least I did not have a huge ass. Plus maybe they sell padded underwear like they sell padded bras.

Butt pads that is what I need fill those jeans right out.....

I would like to thank you for putting up with this post about my ass......Riveting huh