TOP 10

Why should Letterman be the only one with a Top 10.

Top 10 Christmas songs that I Wish I never have to hear again:

1. Feliz Navidad (song)" – Jose Feliciano <EM>....the first time you hear it for the year it is cool but after that NOPE

2. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" – ..... No mater what version mommy is a tramp

3. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" –In all my 31 years I have never rocked around my tree. Mostly because it is in the corner. Now if it was called Rockin In FRONT of the Christmas tree it would of never made this list.

4. "Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey" ...... no clue what this song really has to do with Christmas. Maybe in Italy but not in New York. Is the Donkey in Italy like Santa. Fuck who knows

5. "All I Want For Christmas Is My 2 Front Teeth ......fuck that now it is a Play Station 3


6. "Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" – .....I have always hated this song and I have no Idea why... plus I might be wrong but didn't Bing Crosby beat his wife?

7. Macareana Christmas......why could it not just die with the dance it had to carry over to christmas

8. "Christmas Time is Here" – Originally composed for the television show A Charlie Brown Christmas . ..........goes with the cartoon and for some reason that cartoon depresses me so now of course I associate the song.

9. "White Christmas ........Yeah who is going to shovel the sidewalk, clean my car off and I hate when my feet get cold and wet.


10. The Chipmunks (Christmas don't be late) .....was cute when I was 7 is annoying now at 31. Plus Alvin is a little shit.

Again I like Christmas very much just some of the songs I could do with out. So pleas do not make me out for a scrooge. I am truly not.

If any one has any other favorites that they hate let me know!

peace

SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T THINK

Since tonight is my first night back since Thanksgiving. I am a little tired. I know you do not care but please follow along I am getting to a point.

So falling asleep like I was I figured a little caffeine buzz might help me out a bit. So I go into the kitchen here at work to grab a cup. See now I normally try not to drink coffee because caffeine sometimes is just a bit too much for me. While I was in there checking out the coffee options on the new fancy coffee machine. I see that it has espresso, cappuccino, regular, and hot cocoa.

I knew I was tired so I need a real jolt. So I made myself a coffee that was half Espresso and half cappuccino. Little did I know that the combo would be the equivalent to doing and 8-ball in like 10 minutes.

Not that I ever did and 8-ball. Not even close. The most drugs I ever did was smoked pot and dabbled in some mushrooms. Not that I am justifying this but hey fuck it it is already done. I am older a just a bit wiser. I cut out the mushrooms........

But back in the day I had friends that would do coke all the time. It was never for me I cant even handle the buzz from a weak ass cup of Joe. So that was never for me.

But I had a friend that used to do coke allllll the time. See you would never witness her do it she was sly but you knew she was buzzing because whenever she was high she wanted to braid your hair and do your nails.

Me having very long hair at the time was always a target for this girl. So here she comes sniffling and staring at this long hair that she could braid all night. Because I am not going to argue with a coke head that shit might get you shanked.

So when I would go home from her house after a Friday night my boyfriend at the time would be there and staring at me wondering why I looked like a white Alan Iverson. I would just say oh these Katie was doing coke again tonight. He would be like oh OK and start to help me take them out.

Another friend used to get real paranoid and think every one was judging her. I probably was because she acted like such a freak. With that white shit crusted on the corners of her mouth.

See I could care less what other people do. I was never folded by peer pressure. So I had drug addict friends. Some have grown up and changed and had there families and cut all that shit out. Some still think they are 18. Who am I to judge.

Well now that I think about it there was really no point that I got to. sorry

peace

GOOD GREIF!

I am soooo glad that I am working to night because if I wasn't I would of probably watched the

Charlie Brown Christmas special.

Not that I do not like Christmas, I really do But I hate the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. It is so fucking depressing.

Here is a list of the Christmas specials (movies, cartoons etc) that depress me:

1. It's A Wonderful Life, please seems to me that it was NOT a wonderful life. Embezzlement, drinking and driving...fuck I am depressing myself thinking about it.

2. Charlie Brown Christmas, what the fuck the kids were all mean to him the tree was in reality a branch.

3. Miracle on 34th Street, come on they wanted to put Santa away for being crazy.

4. A Christmas Story, do not kill me I actually like this but when they play it ALLLL fucking day on Christmas and I watch it it depresses me that I wont change the channel.

5. Frosty the Snowman, I think that there was some pedophile traits with that snowman.

6. Grinch, Movie not cartoon, hate the remakes.


The beautiful thing about Christmas specials they all have a happy ending. That is good.

This is a list of my all time favorite Christmas shows:

1. Christmas Vacation, great movie

2. Emmit Otters Jug band Christmas, have not seen it in years but LOVE it.

3. Rudolph, how can I hate that I am not a monster!

4. Grinch, Cartoon Not movie. Love the Dr. Seuss

So as you can see it is all good.

So I will just keep working now and be happy in the fact that I was at work at 8pm tonight and Charlie went around being a doormat for all those kids for yet another year. But again it ends up all happy and shit. Next year I will watch it if they change it and Charlie Brown gets all empowered and shit.

peace

CAN'T YOU ALMOST SMELL THE YAMS....DO YAMS HAVE A SMELL

As most Americans know tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This holiday is one of my favorites. Because only in America do we celebrate a day that revolves around food.

No gifts, no trees, no handing out of candy, no fireworks. Just food.

Aww how sweet, we will all gorge ourselves sit around and watch football.

Plus the family is all around that could be good and that could be bad depends on YOUR family. People seem to like this holiday a lot due to the fact they get a Thursday off from work and usually take the Friday off to get the nice extended weekend.

I went one step past that and took Friday and Monday off for a SUPER long weekend. Freakin sweet!

So remember when you are cooking or eating tomorrow or whatever your role is remember that the can of beets might be the can that mom forgot to put out last year and hopefully she remembered to take the bag of innards out of the cavity of the turkey this year.

Oh and a warning to those yahoos that feel the need to deep fry a turkey 5 feet from the house or a dead pine tree. Do not leave it unattended to go get a beer. Because before you know it you will be call the Fire Department.

So have a nice Thanksgiving and give thanks to all the Native Americans that we stole from and gave disease, because if it was not for them and this day that we celebrate we would have died the first winter.

Happy Thanksgiving

GIVE ME A BREAK

I was just listening to the radio and I heard the song: "Paradise by the Dash Board Lights" By Meatloaf.

What a fucking stupid song. As long as that damn song has been around I think this was actually was the first time that I listened to the words. And I wonder why people like that song or for that matter Meatloaf. (the singer)

And who is the lady that sings with him. Did she ever get any credit. Fuck if she did I might know her name. She got a bad gig having to sing with that fat gross guy who I would think is sweaty. Who sings about underage sex in a car. She wont bone him unless he says he Loves her and then he wants to sleep on it and give her an answer in the morning. Yeah Fucking right

that is all

RELAX DON'T DO IT

This weekend I was in Long Island for a very good friends of mine wedding. I live up here and she lives down there but we have managed to say great friends for like 10 years.

So this being her 2ND marriage I was psyched to go. I fucking love weddings. Some don't but I do. I love the people all dressed up, I love the open bar, I love the music and because I like the open bar so much I love to dance. Normally I am not a dancer. We go to clubs around here and I never dance. Maybe because it is the music all techno and shit. See at a wedding you dance to a whole bunch of different music. Nothing is really the same so that makes my dance moves unpredictable. No one knows what I am going to do next.......Back to that later.

Well PM and I left Friday morning. We packed up the car and headed down to Long Island. Half way there I realized that I forgot my shoes. I thought for a minute fuck it get a different pair of shoes down there. But I couldn't the shoes matched my dress perfectly so there we were driving back an hour.

So it is safe to say that the weekend trip did not start on the right foot. Fast forward to Saturday. Wedding day. I looked fucking awesome. PM handsome as ever. (he had forgiven me for the detour, I had to "work at it a bit" but it happened) And we were off to the ceremony. Blah blah pretty and beautiful all that shit.

Then we go to the RECEPTION.....peoples only reason really to go to a wedding. Walk in all decorated and shit, little finger food for appetizers, bar open and people milling around. You look around to see where you were seated and hope that it is not the "left over" table. You know the one where no one is related they got the pity invite. I found my table and it was not the "left over table" actually I thought it was the coolest in the room. but that is just me.

So I was chatting having a few cocktails then dinner then my favorite part. The DJ starts. At this point most people are pretty buzzed. So I am fucking ready.

I danced a few times with PM then with some dud I went to college with. Then I had a few more drinks and there was no need for a dance partner. I was tearing up the joint.

My interpretive dance to "Relax Don't Do It" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood will forever go down in history.

I am not a good group dancer you know the ones that have pre determined steps like Electric Slide and shit like that. I want to know when they stopped the chicken dance I loved that shit.

The DJ was OK but I have one question is it customary in any wedding that takes place in Long Island that you have to play 3 or 4 Bill Joel songs. Maybe he has a law down there who knows. But everyone in Long Island knows all the words to every Bill Joel song ever.

So I danced and drank my ass off. Spent some time with some old friends and had a great time.
My leg muscles still hurt some today.

Damn

WHY

Why would Green Day and Bono do a song together. I just do not see the connection.

Bono I thought you were busy ending poverty. Where did you find time to make the dumbest fucking song I have heard in a long fucking time.

Green Day must of lost a bet! Yeah it was a bet gone crazy.

Radio station plays it all the mother fucking time!!!!! I emailed them and told them to stop. They better listen or I might just change the channel.

WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD TALK SHOWS!

I just am wondering what the fucked happened to decent talk shows. I mean you have Oprah, The View, Ellen etc but come on they have famous people on.

I am talking about the good old talk shows, like Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer (ca. 1996), Queen Latifa, Ricki Lake. I could go on and on.

Now I know that Jerry Spring is still on but that is a train wreck there. I mean it just consists of inbred, toothless, ignorant mother fuckers throwing punches and fighting over another toothless wonder. But Jerry Springer back many years ago was interesting. Weird lesbian triangles, trannys, freaks and shit like that.

I see that shows like Maury and Montel are on but that is bull shit.

Montel always has either crazy video or that psychic bitch that is mean to all the audience. But Montel has MS and he is trying to legalize marijuana so he is alright in my book.

But Maury Povich is a whole other story.

All he has on there are whores, whore, and more whores.

All who can't find their babies daddy, (I wonder how that is because most of the women failing all these fucking paternity tests are busted and wonder how they got one guy to impregnate them never the less 14 failed tests to find out who their babies daddy is.)

I saw on there today 5 young girls all like 14 or 15 screaming and carrying on that they want a baby. They are so determined to have a baby they will sleep with any one just to get it.

Now I see the beauty in Maurys thinking. Get them pregnant young, get them back for the paternity test next year. Makes a consistent show.

I will say this I am not 15, I am not a whore, I do not want a baby and I would not go on TV telling every one I fucked a guy for a bag of potato chips. (no joke)

So I pretty much know that this is pretty much all fake but it makes me think that these young girls have no idea, they need to be young. They need to not have children because we do not need more ignorant retards that will end up on some fucked up talk show SCREAMING about something stupid.

I wonder do they see the show later, if they do are they embarrassed. Fuck If I saw one of the screaming bitches on the street I might start a fight with them. Actually I probably would.

Fuck it!

A DREAM

I have to write this down because it was one of the most bizarre dreams I ever had. I mean not scary or anything just weird.

OK here goes.

It starts out where I am going to make a car payment. I was not going to the post office or anything I was dropping it off at an old farm house. On a road where there was just this one house. I put the payment in the mailbox.

It was a beautiful day not a cloud in the sky but very windy. As I went back to the car I hear a voice yell "hey" I look around no one there.

I hear it again "hey" I look around and nothing. I look up and it is Trent Resnor hanging from a tree towards the top. The wind was blowing him all around. He wanted to help him get down. Seems he was parachuting and he got stuck in the tree.

So I called 911 and before I got off the phone there were like 50 people there getting him out of the tree. '

So I went over to see if he was OK and he said thanks for helping me get out of the tree. Then he gave me a roll of dimes in appreciation.

Then I woke up.

Fucked up right!

SAY IT AIN'T SO CRUSTY!!!!!

It was a beautiful day out today and one of the few that we will have for months. I could of gone home and slept all day but I didn't. I decided to call PM get him to take the morning off and go golfing.

Now I never have been a great golfer but I am so so for someone that has only been playing for 6 years now. I will say I am no Michelle Weeeeee but I am like she was at 2 years old.

OK now that you know I am a total retard that plays golf let me explain something. I do not wear all that gay golf wear. I wear what ever I feel like. NO patterns ans NO belted shorts...EVER.

Well this morning was beautiful a bit chilly but good enough. I got an 8am tee time and we were off. I did horrible I was so bad that I wondered what the Fuck I will never make it playing like this. (By making it I mean at 31 years old I would like to be on the High School JV team)

So that was that I went home to sulk. So while I was relaxing on the couch I get a call from a friend. I will not mention her name but I will give you the initials. DF. She will hate me but OK.

So I was mentioning that I bagged it so bad on the links this AM. She did not seem so surprised. I was like either feel bad for me or explain why you are being so smug.

She explained to me that it was not my fault that I sucked it was my tits getting in the way. I was like Fuck you that is stupid.

So I said there are many woman golfer out there and they have boobs.

her response:

DF: they are all small breasted woman.
DS: shut up
DF: Anaka sorenstam; small boobs
DS: OK
DF: Michelle We; she is like 12 I do not think she even hit puberty yet so no boobs
DS: wow
DF: all the women on the LPGA that have a little thickness to them?
DS: yeah
DF: what are their names
DS: I don't know
DF: exactly they suck because they have a large C cup or bigger than a d cup. The twins get in the way! That I think is proven in science

So as retarded as that conversation was it made me think Fuck she is right. That conversation probably brought woman back a few years for progress in golf but the truth hurts. Boobies get in the way of a perfect golf swing.

Ever see a guy with man boobs 13 under par. I do not think so!

I know this post was a bit crazy and probably hurtful to some large chested women that had dreams of making it to a sanctioned LPGA event. But look on the bright side we actually look like woman with our boobies. Those flat chested, really awesome at golf, gym teacher, Indigo girl listening types look like little boys with mullets.

so until later

YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!

I will not even tell you that it is Election day and every person that is capable should be getting off their asses and casting a vote. I could tell you that.

But I wont.

I went and voted very early this AM after work. I am always amazed when I go and vote. You walk in sign you name in the book. Then wait. While I waited I noticed that the oldest of the old people are running the show.

I guess they are the only ones that can stay there all day and they wont have to go to work. So at least they get one day a year where they feel needed.

I love to vote, I know I know a lot of people say that their vote does not "count" but I believe that it does. If in reality I believe that it counts, it counts to me.

It counts because then for 1 more year I can praise or complain about the events of every 2ND Tuesday in November.

Before I went and voted this morning all week I have been doing my homework on all the candidates.

We have a thief, wife beater, 2 tax evaders, a real loud mouth bitch and a dude with small man syndrome. Oh and the one that tapped her husbands phone to find out if he was cheating on her.

So I guess in all other states besides NY you must of had roughly the same thing. The candidates whether they are Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green party or Communist. they all have something wrong with them. So I choose the ones that have some what less stuff wrong with them. A feat harder than it sounds.

I will say this I never have voted for some one in the green party but I love their platforms. No matter what it is they always want to legalize Marijuana. To me that is funny.

So at this point the polls are close and you all have voted I hope. So by tomorrow morning we can hear all the results and wait one more year for all those fucking commercial to start again.

So until then later

WHAT A GOOD DAY FOR A MONDAY!!!!!

I have had the best Monday I think in the History of the world. I swear. Usually I hate Mondays but if they all went like this I would look forward to Mondays every week.

I bet you are dying to know why huh? OK OK I will tell ya.

1. I slept all day for my night shift with out anyone calling me, and when they did call me I actually was oversleeping so it worked out perfect.

2. I bought a scratch off ticket and won 20 dollars.

3. I found out that the Christmas party is open Bar at a real nice Hotel (my good friend is real pissed at that because her work is having some rinky dink buffet at the Casino) hee hee

4. I decided that I am going to the Christmas party. (not just because of open bar....well really because of that)

5. I got a new credit card in the mail with a 10, 000 dollar limit. Woo hoo!

6. I got a new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes you heard it right I got a new job!! I was really looking to get out of here and get a different job you know one that is during the fucking day!! I mean Christ. Also I will actually be doing something that I spent 10's of thousands of dollars going to school for so long.

The only thing I used out of college was that shot gunning a beer will get you wasted, and the bigger the bong the bigger the cough!

Well I will tell you what I am doing! I got a job with a local finance firm. I am now a Financial planner. Well as of the January 1st. I plan finances. Sounds easy, it is. I went to College for all that good stuff and I have been working at a medical supply company for 5 years.

Getting comfortable is OK. But this job pays a lot more. So I got off my ass and went to interview with this company. The fucking guy loved me. Hired me on the spot!

So I start the first week in January.

Then I wondered about blogging! Like that is the most important thing to think about today!

Well with my NEW job I can work at home part of the day and at work I will have an office.

From cubicle to office! Man I am moving the fuck up.

I will miss all my night friends, I have gotten used to sleeping all day and being up all night. Well we all have to move on.

So you may wonder why I have to wait so long to start, well a woman is going on Maternity leave in January and she has expressed that she wants to stay home with the baby. Who fucking cares I got a new fucking Job!!!!!

Fuck yeah. I will be like 90 percent of the world again......awake during the day!!!

I want to see what Tuesday has in store for me.

Until later

BRAND NEW SNEAKERS AIN'T GOT NO JOB HOW DO YOU DO IT...DOO DOO DOM!!!!

This is Doo Doo Dom......

He is the local vagrant!

Not sure if the Picture will come out all that well. it was taken by me on my phone and I was a little loaded at the time.

Any way this is Doo Doo Dom. You can call him Doo Doo for short if you like. He is about 36 or 37. He fell off a wall when he was like 12 now he is a little off to say the least. See what he is doing here. Someone would not give him a cigarette. So I think he is fake crying. See that is what Doo Doo does he pretends to cry. I have no Idea why. maybe for sympathy.

Maybe for a 40oz. who knows.

Well do not feel bad for him he is not like homeless or anything he lives with his mom a block or so away. He is a little mental, he smells real bad, and he like to play his air guitar on the corner.

I just wanted to post this because I think Doo Doo Dom need to be on the Internet. He need to have his 15 minutes of fame. Next I am going to get him doing his dance to "hotel, motel Holiday Inn." It is real funny. I would buy him a beer if he does it. Will dance for beer. He will, has for years.

Some times I see the local kids make fun of him but he does not even care. I tell those kids to leave him alone they could fall off their bike and next thing you know they will be playing the air drums to compliments Doo Doo's air guitar.

Most the time I give him a few cigarettes so he does not pick them out of the ash trays and smoke them.

The moral here is be nice to the local vagrants they might just start crying.

Until later!!!

SHOUT OUT!**

This is a shout out to the local weatherman:

Hey Weatherman you said that the rain would not start until after midnight. Well it is 11:20pm and it is fucking snowing out. But you have 35 minutes to go if it does not RAIN you were right on.

Hey Weatherman I know you live a few houses down and I see you in your little BMW but is it completely necessary to have a personalized license plate that says "DOPPLER"

Hey Weatherman I see you at the gym and it is not working all that well, but it was working out well for you and your lady friend in the hot tub huh!

Hey weatherman I see your wife at the neighbors house a lot. You know that guys house where he is home all day and walks around in a towel. Just thought you should know. I am not quite sure what she is doing over there but I am sure it has to do with booze and condoms.

Hey Weatherman thanks for inviting me to all of your barbeque's you know the ones where all those local TV yuppie fucks stand around and get blitzed. I do enjoy them, because when I go home I call everyone I know and tell them who was playing hide the sausage. And we laugh.

**yes I do live down the street from the local weatherman and he deserved this post because I hate it when it snows. also I hate the term shout out

I KNEW IT WOULD END UP LIKE THIS I JUST FUCKING KNEW IT

This is just a post to get something off my chest that has been pissing me off for a good part of the night now.

I knew if I got back with PM he would start to pull the shit he pulled 8 months ago when we broke up initially. I was fucking right but you know what the worst part is that it really sucks to tell yourself I told ya so.

But I can

I knew once I slept with him again that he would want to start dating again pick up where we left off. I warned him before we did this that all the reasons he was not satisfied with me had not changed.

I am probably one of the only 31 year old woman out there that is not looking for the whole "white picket fence" dream.

He broke up with me months ago because I did not want to get married and have 50 babies. At least I was being honest. So he set out to find a woman who would.

Well there he ends up in my bed. I fucking knew I should not do this but hey a girl has needs. Ya know!!!

So just today he was at my house this morning when I got home. I was very tired and I just wanted to lay down for like a half hour. So I go in the nice warm bed to chill after 14 hours of work. But ohhhh nooo I have get in an in dept conversation on how my house is probably too small for 2 people to live in.

I was like what 2 people? I live here with a cat you have a house 5 blocks away. He said but I am here a lot and I just figured........

Hum just figured I wanted you to move in. Ummm No! I had to get this house after we broke up and move all of MY stuff HERE in MY house because you stayed in OUR house. So this is mine and it is small because I live with one cat.

Well this started the argument of all arguments. How I do not know how to look in the future with him how I don't want to plan ahead with him.

See this is what I fucking knew what happened. I told him that I warned you that I had not changed in 8 months and you were OK with that. I pretty much told him this was more about sex and having someone to bring to a wedding as a date. I had told him up front this was just going to be that easy. No complications. But again I was off a little on that theory.

So anyway I told him that no matter what happens, with us that I care about him I just can't marry him and have his kids. I know that he just left me a voice mail and I thought I would write this first so I could get all the shit out of my head and listen to him with a clear head.

Well sorry you had to endure all the stupid drama that is my personal life but fuck it it happens!